Friday Boredom - Your Pet Peeves
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SoCal, sorry to hear you're having to deal with this on top of the other things.
As WTTCHMN said, don't blame yourself but also don't sabotage yourself either.
Some things like your friend's husband's Mexican wife should be shared. Other things, maybe not. I think the EU has some right ideas around privacy and the internet and right to be forgotten.
You mentioned your 15 year anniversary is coming up and the lying apparent is around 17 years. (guessing based on the comment about 17 years and a day being worse than 17 years). Which seems to imply this is a pre-marriage item, possible even a pre-engagement item and maybe a very early relationship period item although I think you guys have been together a longer time. And if I recall age range correctly, would put your husband around early 20s, possibly mid-college years? Plenty of things should still be shared, plenty should just be allowed to be forgotten. I lot depends, IMHO, is the thing, something that is just 17 years in the past for your husband and being left to be forgotten, or is it something he's actively maintained keeping hidden?
Not making excuses, just trying to get perspective.
And yea, if this is something like, you'd already been together a few years and he slept with your college roommate, or had a one night stand while in the relationship, that's a should have come clean long ago.
Yes, 17 years. Age range... Well, I was just a teenager at the time. (Not being sarcastic, by the way. I was a teen. I am still with the first man I've dated. I got married at a young age.) However, we have quite an age difference between us. He was well beyond the college years at that time.
But the thing is, it's usually from people who are in a less favorable (pun intended!) position than you are so it tends to continue to be that way forever. For instance, if someone has financial issues and you are well off, then the money favor will usually only flow one way. Same thing with time, resources, etc.
It's tough.
odd... kick him out?
#becarefulwhatyouwishfor
nosuchreality
Well-known member
WTTCHMN said:
SoCal, sorry to hear you're having to deal with this on top of the other things.
As WTTCHMN said, don't blame yourself but also don't sabotage yourself either.
Some things like your friend's husband's Mexican wife should be shared. Other things, maybe not. I think the EU has some right ideas around privacy and the internet and right to be forgotten.
You mentioned your 15 year anniversary is coming up and the lying apparent is around 17 years. (guessing based on the comment about 17 years and a day being worse than 17 years). Which seems to imply this is a pre-marriage item, possible even a pre-engagement item and maybe a very early relationship period item although I think you guys have been together a longer time. And if I recall age range correctly, would put your husband around early 20s, possibly mid-college years? Plenty of things should still be shared, plenty should just be allowed to be forgotten. I lot depends, IMHO, is the thing, something that is just 17 years in the past for your husband and being left to be forgotten, or is it something he's actively maintained keeping hidden?
Not making excuses, just trying to get perspective.
And yea, if this is something like, you'd already been together a few years and he slept with your college roommate, or had a one night stand while in the relationship, that's a should have come clean long ago.
The Motor Court Company
Well-known member
I just bought 8 PS3 games that are on sale for $40 total; should I keep it as a secret from my wife?
This is for So Cal... And qwerty too.
Why Do Men Exist? Science (Finally) Gives Us an Answer
Reuters
May 18, 2015
Since in many species, sperm is males? only contribution to reproduction, biologists have long puzzled about why evolutionary selection, known for its ruthless efficiency, allows them to exist.
Now British scientists have an explanation: Males are required for a process known as ?sexual selection? which helps species to ward off disease and avoid extinction.
A system where all offspring are produced without sex ? as in all-female asexual populations ? would be far more efficient at reproducing greater numbers of offspring, the scientists said.
But in research published in the journal Nature on Monday, they found that sexual selection, in which males compete to be chose by females for reproduction, improves the gene pool and boosts population health, helping explain why males are important.
An absence of selection ? when there is no sex, or no need to compete for it ? leaves populations weaker genetically, making them more vulnerable to dying out.
?Competition among males for reproduction provides a really important benefit, because it improves the genetic health of populations,? said professor Matt Gage, who led the work atBritain?s University of East Anglia.
?Sexual selection achieves this by acting as a filter to remove harmful genetic mutations, helping populations to flourish and avoid extinction in the long-term.?
Almost all multi-cellular species reproduce using sex, but its existence is not easy to explain biologically, Gage said, because sex has big downsides ? including that only half of the offspring, the daughters, will produce offspring themselves.
?Why should any species waste all that effort on sons?? he said.
In their study, Gage?s team evolved Tribolium flour beetles over 10 years under controlled laboratory conditions, where the only difference between populations was the intensity of sexual selection during each adult reproductive stage.
The strength of sexual selection ranged from intense competition ? where 90 males competed for only 10 females ? through to the complete absence of sexual selection, with monogamous pairings in which females had no choice and males no competition.
After seven years of reproduction, representing about 50 generations, the scientists found that populations where there had been strong sexual selection were fitter and more resilient to extinction in the face of inbreeding.
But populations with weak or non-existent sexual selection showed more rapid declines in health under inbreeding, and all went extinct by the tenth generation.
Why Do Men Exist? Science (Finally) Gives Us an Answer
Reuters
May 18, 2015
Since in many species, sperm is males? only contribution to reproduction, biologists have long puzzled about why evolutionary selection, known for its ruthless efficiency, allows them to exist.
Now British scientists have an explanation: Males are required for a process known as ?sexual selection? which helps species to ward off disease and avoid extinction.
A system where all offspring are produced without sex ? as in all-female asexual populations ? would be far more efficient at reproducing greater numbers of offspring, the scientists said.
But in research published in the journal Nature on Monday, they found that sexual selection, in which males compete to be chose by females for reproduction, improves the gene pool and boosts population health, helping explain why males are important.
An absence of selection ? when there is no sex, or no need to compete for it ? leaves populations weaker genetically, making them more vulnerable to dying out.
?Competition among males for reproduction provides a really important benefit, because it improves the genetic health of populations,? said professor Matt Gage, who led the work atBritain?s University of East Anglia.
?Sexual selection achieves this by acting as a filter to remove harmful genetic mutations, helping populations to flourish and avoid extinction in the long-term.?
Almost all multi-cellular species reproduce using sex, but its existence is not easy to explain biologically, Gage said, because sex has big downsides ? including that only half of the offspring, the daughters, will produce offspring themselves.
?Why should any species waste all that effort on sons?? he said.
In their study, Gage?s team evolved Tribolium flour beetles over 10 years under controlled laboratory conditions, where the only difference between populations was the intensity of sexual selection during each adult reproductive stage.
The strength of sexual selection ranged from intense competition ? where 90 males competed for only 10 females ? through to the complete absence of sexual selection, with monogamous pairings in which females had no choice and males no competition.
After seven years of reproduction, representing about 50 generations, the scientists found that populations where there had been strong sexual selection were fitter and more resilient to extinction in the face of inbreeding.
But populations with weak or non-existent sexual selection showed more rapid declines in health under inbreeding, and all went extinct by the tenth generation.
Irvine Dream
New member
Except in Golf you will be one down with the higher score >qwerty said:As I tell my friends, like 10 to 9, 3 to 2, I'll always be one up on you
socal78
Well-known member
nosuchreality said:
Yes, 17 years. Age range... Well, I was just a teenager at the time. (Not being sarcastic, by the way. I was a teen. I am still with the first man I've dated. I got married at a young age.) However, we have quite an age difference between us. He was well beyond the college years at that time.
The Motor Court Company
Well-known member
So not affair not sex related.
Gambling issue? Drug? Strip club? He hates foothill ranch and wants to move to Irvine? Has been secretly shopping with a realtor?
Gambling issue? Drug? Strip club? He hates foothill ranch and wants to move to Irvine? Has been secretly shopping with a realtor?
nosuchreality
Well-known member
Okay, it's not Friday and I'm not bored, but pet peeve time.
I hd the liberty of wasting 10 minutes of my life this morning and watch Rachel Dolezai spew the baloney. Play the victim card repeatedly and claim over and over that it's more complex.
No it isn't.
She played the lies to her advantage.
People like her have turned virtually any discussion on race, race relations and inequality in our country into an inauthentic manipulation for advantage.
I've lived here a long time, I think I'll identify as hispanic.
I hd the liberty of wasting 10 minutes of my life this morning and watch Rachel Dolezai spew the baloney. Play the victim card repeatedly and claim over and over that it's more complex.
No it isn't.
She played the lies to her advantage.
People like her have turned virtually any discussion on race, race relations and inequality in our country into an inauthentic manipulation for advantage.
I've lived here a long time, I think I'll identify as hispanic.
socal78
Well-known member
1) People who constantly ask you for favors. OMG.
2) Those same people when they never offer to return a favor. It's just take, take, take.
This has been driving me NUTS lately. I've always been the kind of person who wants to help people out as much as I can. Unfortunately, there are selfish, greedy people who will pretend to be friends just because it serves them well. And they are plentiful. I'm getting much better at saying, "No." It doesn't come naturally to me so it takes practice.
2) Those same people when they never offer to return a favor. It's just take, take, take.
This has been driving me NUTS lately. I've always been the kind of person who wants to help people out as much as I can. Unfortunately, there are selfish, greedy people who will pretend to be friends just because it serves them well. And they are plentiful. I'm getting much better at saying, "No." It doesn't come naturally to me so it takes practice.
irvinehomeowner
Well-known member
I've encountered people like this too.SoCal said:
But the thing is, it's usually from people who are in a less favorable (pun intended!) position than you are so it tends to continue to be that way forever. For instance, if someone has financial issues and you are well off, then the money favor will usually only flow one way. Same thing with time, resources, etc.
It's tough.
socal78
Well-known member
When you put a lot of work into making a nice summer party for your kids and their friends but one of the guests is a total jerk. Oh. My. Gawd. I have never in my life seen such disrespect, rudeness, and sheer lack of discipline IN MY LIFE. And this boy is 11 YEARS OLD. I am so sad right now. I tried to give these kids the best day of their summer and for no other reason than I wanted to be a cool mom! I spent all weekend planning, shopping, making food. I was up late tying 200 water balloons, my fingers are raw. And this is the thanks I get. I am so pissed, honestly. This kid tested every boundary I have. Then he had the nerve to argue with me. OmG. I would have NEVER even THOUGHT of testing the patience of my friends' parents when I was a kid. There are some things you just do not do! 
He trashed my yard. He ate way more than his fair share of food, leaving little for the other guests. (I was generous to begin with.) He told me if I was out of water balloons, then he was leaving! He searched my house against my permission to look for candy which was a prize for a game he did not win "because HE deserves it". He left my door open repeatedly with the A/C on. Then turned it upside down again, looking for more water balloons. He was throwing watermelon against the side of my house, using it like a backboard as in basketball to fall into the trash below. Watermelon all over the stucco wall. Gosh. What I need for my next party is to know the hourly rate of Qwerchete and Iho to be my big, intimidating BOUNCERS!!! One on each side of the door, please!
He trashed my yard. He ate way more than his fair share of food, leaving little for the other guests. (I was generous to begin with.) He told me if I was out of water balloons, then he was leaving! He searched my house against my permission to look for candy which was a prize for a game he did not win "because HE deserves it". He left my door open repeatedly with the A/C on. Then turned it upside down again, looking for more water balloons. He was throwing watermelon against the side of my house, using it like a backboard as in basketball to fall into the trash below. Watermelon all over the stucco wall. Gosh. What I need for my next party is to know the hourly rate of Qwerchete and Iho to be my big, intimidating BOUNCERS!!! One on each side of the door, please!Where were his parents during this performance?
SoCal said:When you put a lot of work into making a nice summer party for your kids and their friends but one of the guests is a total jerk. Oh. My. Gawd. I have never in my life seen such disrespect, rudeness, and sheer lack of discipline IN MY LIFE. And this boy is 11 YEARS OLD. I am so sad right now. I tried to give these kids the best day of their summer and for no other reason than I wanted to be a cool mom! I spent all weekend planning, shopping, making food. I was up late tying 200 water balloons, my fingers are raw. And this is the thanks I get. I am so pissed, honestly. This kid tested every boundary I have. Then he had the nerve to argue with me. OmG. I would have NEVER even THOUGHT of testing the patience of my friends' parents when I was a kid. There are some things you just do not do!
J
jmoney74
Guest
Happiness said:Where were his parents during this performance?
SoCal said:When you put a lot of work into making a nice summer party for your kids and their friends but one of the guests is a total jerk. Oh. My. Gawd. I have never in my life seen such disrespect, rudeness, and sheer lack of discipline IN MY LIFE. And this boy is 11 YEARS OLD. I am so sad right now. I tried to give these kids the best day of their summer and for no other reason than I wanted to be a cool mom! I spent all weekend planning, shopping, making food. I was up late tying 200 water balloons, my fingers are raw. And this is the thanks I get. I am so pissed, honestly. This kid tested every boundary I have. Then he had the nerve to argue with me. OmG. I would have NEVER even THOUGHT of testing the patience of my friends' parents when I was a kid. There are some things you just do not do!
odd... kick him out?
irvinehomeowner
Well-known member
Uh... we would have probably eaten more than our fair share of food and I know that I would have probably been playing watermelon basketball with the kid.SoCal said:
#becarefulwhatyouwishfor
Ready2Downsize
Well-known member
Next time take everything to the park (yup, decorations, food, gifts and all) or the pool. Then the kids can run around and the mess isn't in your house. Done it many times. Trash stays out of my house and no one ever complained they didn't have a good time.
So car needed gas, went to get some at Costco, as usual, there's a line even at 9 in the morning.
Pet peeve is some guy in front of me decided to wait in line for gas just to top off? Wtf. Literally 1-2 gallons. Wasted more gas waiting in line than savings on the cheap gas.
Doubt the fuel gauge was broken since it wasn't an old car.
Pet peeve is some guy in front of me decided to wait in line for gas just to top off? Wtf. Literally 1-2 gallons. Wasted more gas waiting in line than savings on the cheap gas.
Doubt the fuel gauge was broken since it wasn't an old car.