Saratoga Upgrades

[lucky760]

I'm just little more than two months away from (estimated) closing.  Now I'm constantly thinking about when to start working on loan, home insurance, and upgrades and worry if it's too early, or too late to do them.  I wanted to start loan process as soon as possible because of rising interest rate but was told it's still too early.

I'm curious about when should you start contacting people for the upgrades like window covering and flooring that you opted-out from builder and want to do it through third-party contractors?  From your experiences, what's process?  for each upgrade, how many time do you have to meet with the person before real action?  What's the time needed from getting a estimate/quote from contractor and actually get them work on it, and how long does it take for them to finish the work?

LOAN

In my experience, it seems the right time to start working on your loan is once it's possible for you to lock in your interest rate. Once you're ready to talk to a different lender, you must read about my lender experience here [required reading]:http://www.talkirvine.com/index.php/topic,3782.0.html

HOME INSURANCE

You can start working on this now to get the details figured out with your insurance company. At some point you'll be asked to provide your insurance information, and at that time you'll just need to have your insurance agent contact them to figure out the details. The first year's premium will be paid with your closing costs.

UPGRADES

We started working on all these things 2-3 months before close. This made it difficult and gave us a lot of headaches because many contractors didn't want to deal with measuring a model, while others *must* measure your actual home for exact measurements (e.g., window shutters). To complicate things, once we were 30 days out, they blocked access to the interior of the house until close, except for a one-time supervised visit for interior measurements.

It may be wise to have the measurements in hand when talking to contractors, though we never had solid measurements and all our contractors measured for themselves.

For flooring, it's good to get your order in early if the contractor needs to buy any materials in advance, e.g., carpet.

For landscaping, we started talking to people about a month out. Many landscapers will take a week or two after talking to you to put a plan on paper (but don't be surprised if most landscapers *never* get back to you at all; this is the worst when you wait two weeks to hear back, but they never return your calls again). See my landscaping recommendation here:http://www.talkirvine.com/index.php/topic,3893.msg60093.html#msg60093

I'm sure you've probably mentioned in the past, but in which community are you buying?

Good luck!

 

[songkou]

Many helpful info, thanks. Same to other posts too.

I've read your post about lender and I've sent a PM to him.  He suggest in another couple weeks it will be the time to start loan process.  But I guess if I find a lender who can offer early lock time, I should do it now.

Since landscaping is not due until 1 year after closing and I have so much to worry about now, I'll put landscaping on hold for now.

I'm your neighbor, lucky.  I bought in Saratoga.

LOAN

In my experience, it seems the right time to start working on your loan is once it's possible for you to lock in your interest rate. Once you're ready to talk to a different lender, you must read about my lender experience here [required reading]:http://www.talkirvine.com/index.php/topic,3782.0.html

HOME INSURANCE

You can start working on this now to get the details figured out with your insurance company. At some point you'll be asked to provide your insurance information, and at that time you'll just need to have your insurance agent contact them to figure out the details. The first year's premium will be paid with your closing costs.

UPGRADES

We started working on all these things 2-3 months before close. This made it difficult and gave us a lot of headaches because many contractors didn't want to deal with measuring a model, while others *must* measure your actual home for exact measurements (e.g., window shutters). To complicate things, once we were 30 days out, they blocked access to the interior of the house until close, except for a one-time supervised visit for interior measurements.

It may be wise to have the measurements in hand when talking to contractors, though we never had solid measurements and all our contractors measured for themselves.

For flooring, it's good to get your order in early if the contractor needs to buy any materials in advance, e.g., carpet.

For landscaping, we started talking to people about a month out. Many landscapers will take a week or two after talking to you to put a plan on paper (but don't be surprised if most landscapers *never* get back to you at all; this is the worst when you wait two weeks to hear back, but they never return your calls again). See my landscaping recommendation here:http://www.talkirvine.com/index.php/topic,3893.msg60093.html#msg60093

I'm sure you've probably mentioned in the past, but in which community are you buying?

Good luck!

 

[eyephone]

For the loan - I would do it right away, as the rates might go up. Since your less then 90 days, a lot of banks will lock the rate.

"He suggest in another couple weeks it will be the time to start loan process." In my opinion that is not good advice, because what if the rate spikes like last week.

Many helpful info, thanks. Same to other posts too.

I've read your post about lender and I've sent a PM to him.  He suggest in another couple weeks it will be the time to start loan process.  But I guess if I find a lender who can offer early lock time, I should do it now.

Since landscaping is not due until 1 year after closing and I have so much to worry about now, I'll put landscaping on hold for now.

I'm your neighbor, lucky.  I bought in Saratoga.

[/color][/b][/color]

LOAN

In my experience, it seems the right time to start working on your loan is once it's possible for you to lock in your interest rate. Once you're ready to talk to a different lender, you must read about my lender experience here [required reading]:http://www.talkirvine.com/index.php/topic,3782.0.html

HOME INSURANCE

You can start working on this now to get the details figured out with your insurance company. At some point you'll be asked to provide your insurance information, and at that time you'll just need to have your insurance agent contact them to figure out the details. The first year's premium will be paid with your closing costs.

UPGRADES

We started working on all these things 2-3 months before close. This made it difficult and gave us a lot of headaches because many contractors didn't want to deal with measuring a model, while others *must* measure your actual home for exact measurements (e.g., window shutters). To complicate things, once we were 30 days out, they blocked access to the interior of the house until close, except for a one-time supervised visit for interior measurements.

It may be wise to have the measurements in hand when talking to contractors, though we never had solid measurements and all our contractors measured for themselves.

For flooring, it's good to get your order in early if the contractor needs to buy any materials in advance, e.g., carpet.

For landscaping, we started talking to people about a month out. Many landscapers will take a week or two after talking to you to put a plan on paper (but don't be surprised if most landscapers *never* get back to you at all; this is the worst when you wait two weeks to hear back, but they never return your calls again). See my landscaping recommendation here:http://www.talkirvine.com/index.php/topic,3893.msg60093.html#msg60093

I'm sure you've probably mentioned in the past, but in which community are you buying?

Good luck!

 

[lucky760]

For the loan - I would do it right away, as the rates might go up. Since your less then 90 days, a lot of banks will lock the rate.

"He suggest in another couple weeks it will be the time to start loan process." In my opinion that is not good advice, because what if the rate spikes like last week.

Many helpful info, thanks. Same to other posts too.

I've read your post about lender and I've sent a PM to him.  He suggest in another couple weeks it will be the time to start loan process.  But I guess if I find a lender who can offer early lock time, I should do it now.

Since landscaping is not due until 1 year after closing and I have so much to worry about now, I'll put landscaping on hold for now.

I'm your neighbor, lucky.  I bought in Saratoga.

[/color][/b][/color]

LOAN

In my experience, it seems the right time to start working on your loan is once it's possible for you to lock in your interest rate. Once you're ready to talk to a different lender, you must read about my lender experience here [required reading]:http://www.talkirvine.com/index.php/topic,3782.0.html

HOME INSURANCE

You can start working on this now to get the details figured out with your insurance company. At some point you'll be asked to provide your insurance information, and at that time you'll just need to have your insurance agent contact them to figure out the details. The first year's premium will be paid with your closing costs.

UPGRADES

We started working on all these things 2-3 months before close. This made it difficult and gave us a lot of headaches because many contractors didn't want to deal with measuring a model, while others *must* measure your actual home for exact measurements (e.g., window shutters). To complicate things, once we were 30 days out, they blocked access to the interior of the house until close, except for a one-time supervised visit for interior measurements.

It may be wise to have the measurements in hand when talking to contractors, though we never had solid measurements and all our contractors measured for themselves.

For flooring, it's good to get your order in early if the contractor needs to buy any materials in advance, e.g., carpet.

For landscaping, we started talking to people about a month out. Many landscapers will take a week or two after talking to you to put a plan on paper (but don't be surprised if most landscapers *never* get back to you at all; this is the worst when you wait two weeks to hear back, but they never return your calls again). See my landscaping recommendation here:http://www.talkirvine.com/index.php/topic,3893.msg60093.html#msg60093

I'm sure you've probably mentioned in the past, but in which community are you buying?

Good luck!

The problem is lots of banks require that you pay in order to lock early. From the banks I talked to, you can lock at 45 days out, whereas there may be a cost of 1 point for a 60-day lock and more for earlier.

@songkou - Awesome! You're going to love it here (but maybe not at the park, which we're not very fond of).

 

[eyephone]

For the loan - I would do it right away, as the rates might go up. Since your less then 90 days, a lot of banks will lock the rate.

"He suggest in another couple weeks it will be the time to start loan process." In my opinion that is not good advice, because what if the rate spikes like last week.

Many helpful info, thanks. Same to other posts too.

I've read your post about lender and I've sent a PM to him.  He suggest in another couple weeks it will be the time to start loan process.  But I guess if I find a lender who can offer early lock time, I should do it now.

Since landscaping is not due until 1 year after closing and I have so much to worry about now, I'll put landscaping on hold for now.

I'm your neighbor, lucky.  I bought in Saratoga.

[/color][/b][/color]

LOAN

In my experience, it seems the right time to start working on your loan is once it's possible for you to lock in your interest rate. Once you're ready to talk to a different lender, you must read about my lender experience here [required reading]:http://www.talkirvine.com/index.php/topic,3782.0.html

HOME INSURANCE

You can start working on this now to get the details figured out with your insurance company. At some point you'll be asked to provide your insurance information, and at that time you'll just need to have your insurance agent contact them to figure out the details. The first year's premium will be paid with your closing costs.

UPGRADES

We started working on all these things 2-3 months before close. This made it difficult and gave us a lot of headaches because many contractors didn't want to deal with measuring a model, while others *must* measure your actual home for exact measurements (e.g., window shutters). To complicate things, once we were 30 days out, they blocked access to the interior of the house until close, except for a one-time supervised visit for interior measurements.

It may be wise to have the measurements in hand when talking to contractors, though we never had solid measurements and all our contractors measured for themselves.

For flooring, it's good to get your order in early if the contractor needs to buy any materials in advance, e.g., carpet.

For landscaping, we started talking to people about a month out. Many landscapers will take a week or two after talking to you to put a plan on paper (but don't be surprised if most landscapers *never* get back to you at all; this is the worst when you wait two weeks to hear back, but they never return your calls again). See my landscaping recommendation here:http://www.talkirvine.com/index.php/topic,3893.msg60093.html#msg60093

I'm sure you've probably mentioned in the past, but in which community are you buying?

Good luck!

The problem is lots of banks require that you pay in order to lock early. From the banks I talked to, you can lock at 45 days out, whereas there may be a cost of 1 point for a 60-day lock and more for earlier.

@songkou - Awesome! You're going to love it here (but maybe not at the park, which we're not very fond of).

Interesting - at least for me, WF charging quarter of a point for 180 days interest rate lock, with one free relock interest rate if it gets lower.

 

[Irvinecommuter]

@songku:  I think it depends on the lender/broker you are working with.  If you are working with your own broker, the responsibility is on you to get stuff done.  If you are working with the preferred lender then you can kick back a bit and worry about the interest rate.  I think 2 months is a good time to start checking with lender to see what they need.

@lucky:  You don't like the park?  It seems nice.  I wish the bball court was a full court but it still seems nice.

@eyephone:  Rate locks are expensive these days especially with the fluid market.  The big dates are 1) GDP announcement, 2) ADP numbers and of course 3) the non-farm payoll.  Basically, the bond market doesn't seem to know what they are doing.  They keep claiming that Bernake/Fed has lost control but yields dropped quite a lot since Bernake spoke on Wednesday. 

SGIP talked about rate floats these days...the rate has to drop by a lot (0.5% IIRC) before the rate lock kicks in and even then you only get a portion of that drop.

Some lender can lock you a little early with an extension.  That will buy you a few days. 

 

[lucky760]

@lucky:  You don't like the park?  It seems nice.  I wish the bball court was a full court but it still seems nice.

No, not so much. : \ (Advance warning: rant ahead.)

Our bad feelings about the park, or "Little Bombay," is mainly due to the people who create an undesirable atmosphere. The park is constantly overrun with rude, undisciplined, filthy children. My oldest son is still very young and I have to constantly worry because classless, ignorant parents without any regard for other children or parents let all their inconsiderate brats run wild and out of control.

My son has been knocked down and his forehead slammed hard into a metal bar. Another scumbag older child (while his totally ignorant mother just stood there silently) repeatedly ran up to my son sticking his finger in his face and shouting at him; my wife was ready to slap that little pig across the face, but we both fought hard to maintain our composure, though I did start yelling at him when he wouldn't stop and his mother wouldn't do anything to stop him.

Aside from those things, kids are just always climbing up the slide while mine is trying to slide down. If he's trying to walk across one of the narrow little bridges others either just stand in his way or push past him.

It's not only that the little bastard monsters are such A-holes on their own, but that their parents just sit there watching and couldn't care less about teaching them appropriate behavior. As likely as it is that "these" parents push their children to do well in school, it amazes me that they are totally comfortable with their abhorrent social behavior.

It disgusts me. I don't want my children growing up thinking this is acceptable behavior, and they won't because we actually teach our children to respect other people.

[deep breath]

Sorry for ranting. Purging these repugnant thoughts is cathartic... TI is my therapy.

 

[Irvinecommuter]

@lucky:  You don't like the park?  It seems nice.  I wish the bball court was a full court but it still seems nice.

No, not so much. : \ (Advance warning: rant ahead.)

Our bad feelings about the park, or "Little Bombay," is mainly due to the people who create an undesirable atmosphere. The park is constantly overrun with rude, undisciplined, filthy children. My oldest son is still very young and I have to constantly worry because classless, ignorant parents without any regard for other children or parents let all their inconsiderate brats run wild and out of control.

My son has been knocked down and his forehead slammed hard into a metal bar. Another scumbag older child (while his totally ignorant mother just stood there silently) repeatedly ran up to my son sticking his finger in his face and shouting at him; my wife was ready to slap that little pig across the face, but we both fought hard to maintain our composure, though I did start yelling at him when he wouldn't stop and his mother wouldn't do anything to stop him.

Aside from those things, kids are just always climbing up the slide while mine is trying to slide down. If he's trying to walk across one of the narrow little bridges others either just stand in his way or push past him.

It's not only that the little bastard monsters are such A-holes on their own, but that their parents just sit there watching and couldn't care less about teaching them appropriate behavior. As likely as it is that "these" parents push their children to do well in school, it amazes me that they are totally comfortable with their abhorrent social behavior.

It disgusts me. I don't want my children growing up thinking this is acceptable behavior, and they won't because we actually teach our children to respect other people.

[deep breath]

Sorry for ranting. Purging these repugnant thoughts is cathartic... TI is my therapy.

I am sorry to hear of the issues...I do notice quite a few Indians at that park when I drive by.  TBF, you get some of that in parks in general.  I take my daughter to citrus park in Tustin quite a lot and kids run around like crazy without regard.  Parents are very nice though. 

My daughter is really nice and so am I.  I usually try to stay out of kids issues but I will yell at kids if I feel they are being unsafe (especially older ones).  I may have to be more aggressive.  Those kids/parents better hope that my wife doesn't ever see that...she is super protective of my daughter and will take no nonsense from anyone. 

 

[JasonTheArtist]

@lucky:  You don't like the park?  It seems nice.  I wish the bball court was a full court but it still seems nice.

No, not so much. : \ (Advance warning: rant ahead.)

Our bad feelings about the park, or "Little Bombay," is mainly due to the people who create an undesirable atmosphere. The park is constantly overrun with rude, undisciplined, filthy children. My oldest son is still very young and I have to constantly worry because classless, ignorant parents without any regard for other children or parents let all their inconsiderate brats run wild and out of control.

My son has been knocked down and his forehead slammed hard into a metal bar. Another scumbag older child (while his totally ignorant mother just stood there silently) repeatedly ran up to my son sticking his finger in his face and shouting at him; my wife was ready to slap that little pig across the face, but we both fought hard to maintain our composure, though I did start yelling at him when he wouldn't stop and his mother wouldn't do anything to stop him.

Aside from those things, kids are just always climbing up the slide while mine is trying to slide down. If he's trying to walk across one of the narrow little bridges others either just stand in his way or push past him.

It's not only that the little bastard monsters are such A-holes on their own, but that their parents just sit there watching and couldn't care less about teaching them appropriate behavior. As likely as it is that "these" parents push their children to do well in school, it amazes me that they are totally comfortable with their abhorrent social behavior.

It disgusts me. I don't want my children growing up thinking this is acceptable behavior, and they won't because we actually teach our children to respect other people.

[deep breath]

Sorry for ranting. Purging these repugnant thoughts is cathartic... TI is my therapy.

I'm with you on this. We like to go to mockingbird park. There is hardly ever anyone there and my daughter ( who is 18 mo) loves it.

 

[Irvinecommuter]

@lucky:  You don't like the park?  It seems nice.  I wish the bball court was a full court but it still seems nice.

No, not so much. : \ (Advance warning: rant ahead.)

Our bad feelings about the park, or "Little Bombay," is mainly due to the people who create an undesirable atmosphere. The park is constantly overrun with rude, undisciplined, filthy children. My oldest son is still very young and I have to constantly worry because classless, ignorant parents without any regard for other children or parents let all their inconsiderate brats run wild and out of control.

My son has been knocked down and his forehead slammed hard into a metal bar. Another scumbag older child (while his totally ignorant mother just stood there silently) repeatedly ran up to my son sticking his finger in his face and shouting at him; my wife was ready to slap that little pig across the face, but we both fought hard to maintain our composure, though I did start yelling at him when he wouldn't stop and his mother wouldn't do anything to stop him.

Aside from those things, kids are just always climbing up the slide while mine is trying to slide down. If he's trying to walk across one of the narrow little bridges others either just stand in his way or push past him.

It's not only that the little bastard monsters are such A-holes on their own, but that their parents just sit there watching and couldn't care less about teaching them appropriate behavior. As likely as it is that "these" parents push their children to do well in school, it amazes me that they are totally comfortable with their abhorrent social behavior.

It disgusts me. I don't want my children growing up thinking this is acceptable behavior, and they won't because we actually teach our children to respect other people.

[deep breath]

Sorry for ranting. Purging these repugnant thoughts is cathartic... TI is my therapy.

I'm with you on this. We like to go to mockingbird park. There is hardly ever anyone there and my daughter ( who is 18 mo) loves it.

Wait...which park are we talking about?  I thought Lucky was talking about Mockingbird.

 

[iacrenter]

@lucky:  You don't like the park?  It seems nice.  I wish the bball court was a full court but it still seems nice.

No, not so much. : \ (Advance warning: rant ahead.)

Our bad feelings about the park, or "Little Bombay," is mainly due to the people who create an undesirable atmosphere. The park is constantly overrun with rude, undisciplined, filthy children. My oldest son is still very young and I have to constantly worry because classless, ignorant parents without any regard for other children or parents let all their inconsiderate brats run wild and out of control.

My son has been knocked down and his forehead slammed hard into a metal bar. Another scumbag older child (while his totally ignorant mother just stood there silently) repeatedly ran up to my son sticking his finger in his face and shouting at him; my wife was ready to slap that little pig across the face, but we both fought hard to maintain our composure, though I did start yelling at him when he wouldn't stop and his mother wouldn't do anything to stop him.

Aside from those things, kids are just always climbing up the slide while mine is trying to slide down. If he's trying to walk across one of the narrow little bridges others either just stand in his way or push past him.

It's not only that the little bastard monsters are such A-holes on their own, but that their parents just sit there watching and couldn't care less about teaching them appropriate behavior. As likely as it is that "these" parents push their children to do well in school, it amazes me that they are totally comfortable with their abhorrent social behavior.

It disgusts me. I don't want my children growing up thinking this is acceptable behavior, and they won't because we actually teach our children to respect other people.

[deep breath]

Sorry for ranting. Purging these repugnant thoughts is cathartic... TI is my therapy.

This is the same viewpoint Asian "Helipcopter Parents" have towards Caucasian parents at Irvine parks.

People on TI make fun of them, but now you wish there were more of those Helicopter parents at your park.

 

[lucky760]

I am sorry to hear of the issues...I do notice quite a few Indians at that park when I drive by.  TBF, you get some of that in parks in general.  I take my daughter to citrus park in Tustin quite a lot and kids run around like crazy without regard.  Parents are very nice though. 

My daughter is really nice and so am I.  I usually try to stay out of kids issues but I will yell at kids if I feel they are being unsafe (especially older ones).  I may have to be more aggressive.  Those kids/parents better hope that my wife doesn't ever see that...she is super protective of my daughter and will take no nonsense from anyone.

You're totally right and I do feel it's expected and normal kid behavior to run around out of control. (That's how they come from the factory.) It's more that even when they're doing something blatantly wrong, the parents still ignore them completely and generally aren't very friendly.

(Note that while there are hordes of Indians at the park at all times, I didn't mean to imply they are the only ones exhibiting bad parenting behavior, nor that they must all be that way.)

I also like Citrus Ranch park. We used to live in Portola Springs, where the two side-by-side parks were both much better. (The only bad parenting we ever experienced there was by the minimum-wage-earning nannies, of whom there are surprisingly many.)

@JasonTheArtist - That's actually the same park I'm talking about. What time of the day do you tend to go? We're usually there near dusk and that seems to be when it's most crowded. I've driven past during other times of the day and seen it empty.

 

[lucky760]

This is the same viewpoint Asian "Helipcopter Parents" have towards Caucasian parents at Irvine parks.

People on TI make fun of them, but now you wish there were more of those Helicopter parents at your park.

Not "now" do I wish there were more; I've always wished there were more. I don't know who'd make fun of such parents, but that's not me. I'm more Caucasian than Asian, but I myself am definitely more of a helicopter parent. (Even though I'm a father, I'm a bit of a "tiger mother.") Nationality doesn't concern me as much as behavior. E.g., that whole finger-pointing encounter was with Chinese.

 

[JasonTheArtist]

I am sorry to hear of the issues...I do notice quite a few Indians at that park when I drive by.  TBF, you get some of that in parks in general.  I take my daughter to citrus park in Tustin quite a lot and kids run around like crazy without regard.  Parents are very nice though. 

My daughter is really nice and so am I.  I usually try to stay out of kids issues but I will yell at kids if I feel they are being unsafe (especially older ones).  I may have to be more aggressive.  Those kids/parents better hope that my wife doesn't ever see that...she is super protective of my daughter and will take no nonsense from anyone.

You're totally right and I do feel it's expected and normal kid behavior to run around out of control. (That's how they come from the factory.) It's more that even when they're doing something blatantly wrong, the parents still ignore them completely and generally aren't very friendly.

(Note that while there are hordes of Indians at the park at all times, I didn't mean to imply they are the only ones exhibiting bad parenting behavior, nor that they must all be that way.)

I also like Citrus Ranch park. We used to live in Portola Springs, where the two side-by-side parks were both much better. (The only bad parenting we ever experienced there was by the minimum-wage-earning nannies, of whom there are surprisingly many.)

@JasonTheArtist - That's actually the same park I'm talking about. What time of the day do you tend to go? We're usually there near dusk and that seems to be when it's most crowded. I've driven past during other times of the day and seen it empty.

Sorry, I meant humming bird park.

 

[iacrenter]

This is the same viewpoint Asian "Helipcopter Parents" have towards Caucasian parents at Irvine parks.

People on TI make fun of them, but now you wish there were more of those Helicopter parents at your park.

Not "now" do I wish there were more; I've always wished there were more. I don't know who'd make fun of such parents, but that's not me. I'm more Caucasian than Asian, but I myself am definitely more of a helicopter parent. (Even though I'm a father, I'm a bit of a "tiger mother.") Nationality doesn't concern me as much as behavior. E.g., that whole finger-pointing encounter was with Chinese.

In general as your kids get older, parents tend to slack off in terms of close supervision at the playground (I'm guilty of this at times). But none the less parents need to pay attention to what their kids are doing and how they interact with others.

Parental intervention for bad behavior is the key. I agree with you Lucky. Ideally it should NOT  be you having to stop another child from hurting/threatening your child. But you are doing the right thing by protecting your child if others fail.

 

[songkou]

I'm sorry and worried to hear this.  Saratoga is only 1/2 built and probably 1/4 filled.  It would be worse when it's built-out.

Any activities kids have at playground should be understandable because they're kids.  That been said, I do feel sometimes I want to tell them some disciplines.  But I really want to slap their parents if they just stand there as if nothing happened.  It's totally inexcusable.  I've been in that situation and I found myself biting my tongue, moving my son away and letting it pass.  I wish I could do something.

No, not so much. : \ (Advance warning: rant ahead.)

Our bad feelings about the park, or "Little Bombay," is mainly due to the people who create an undesirable atmosphere. The park is constantly overrun with rude, undisciplined, filthy children. My oldest son is still very young and I have to constantly worry because classless, ignorant parents without any regard for other children or parents let all their inconsiderate brats run wild and out of control.

My son has been knocked down and his forehead slammed hard into a metal bar. Another scumbag older child (while his totally ignorant mother just stood there silently) repeatedly ran up to my son sticking his finger in his face and shouting at him; my wife was ready to slap that little pig across the face, but we both fought hard to maintain our composure, though I did start yelling at him when he wouldn't stop and his mother wouldn't do anything to stop him.

Aside from those things, kids are just always climbing up the slide while mine is trying to slide down. If he's trying to walk across one of the narrow little bridges others either just stand in his way or push past him.

It's not only that the little bastard monsters are such A-holes on their own, but that their parents just sit there watching and couldn't care less about teaching them appropriate behavior. As likely as it is that "these" parents push their children to do well in school, it amazes me that they are totally comfortable with their abhorrent social behavior.

It disgusts me. I don't want my children growing up thinking this is acceptable behavior, and they won't because we actually teach our children to respect other people.

[deep breath]

Sorry for ranting. Purging these repugnant thoughts is cathartic... TI is my therapy.

 

[Irvinecommuter]

I'm sorry and worried to hear this.  Saratoga is only 1/2 built and probably 1/4 filled.  It would be worse when it's built-out.

Any activities kids have at playground should be understandable because they're kids.  That been said, I do feel sometimes I want to tell them some disciplines.  But I really want to slap their parents if they just stand there as if nothing happened.  It's totally inexcusable.  I've been in that situation and I found myself biting my tongue, moving my son away and letting it pass.  I wish I could do something.

No, not so much. : \ (Advance warning: rant ahead.)

Our bad feelings about the park, or "Little Bombay," is mainly due to the people who create an undesirable atmosphere. The park is constantly overrun with rude, undisciplined, filthy children. My oldest son is still very young and I have to constantly worry because classless, ignorant parents without any regard for other children or parents let all their inconsiderate brats run wild and out of control.

My son has been knocked down and his forehead slammed hard into a metal bar. Another scumbag older child (while his totally ignorant mother just stood there silently) repeatedly ran up to my son sticking his finger in his face and shouting at him; my wife was ready to slap that little pig across the face, but we both fought hard to maintain our composure, though I did start yelling at him when he wouldn't stop and his mother wouldn't do anything to stop him.

Aside from those things, kids are just always climbing up the slide while mine is trying to slide down. If he's trying to walk across one of the narrow little bridges others either just stand in his way or push past him.

It's not only that the little bastard monsters are such A-holes on their own, but that their parents just sit there watching and couldn't care less about teaching them appropriate behavior. As likely as it is that "these" parents push their children to do well in school, it amazes me that they are totally comfortable with their abhorrent social behavior.

It disgusts me. I don't want my children growing up thinking this is acceptable behavior, and they won't because we actually teach our children to respect other people.

[deep breath]

Sorry for ranting. Purging these repugnant thoughts is cathartic... TI is my therapy.

We need form a TalkIrvine playground patrol!

 

[qwerty]

so much for those pocket parks being great and making up for the lack of yard. you guys must be hating your 10ft yards right about now. 

 

[lucky760]

Parental intervention for bad behavior is the key. I agree with you Lucky. Ideally it should NOT  be you having to stop another child from hurting/threatening your child. But you are doing the right thing by protecting your child if others fail.

Thanks for that. To be honest, we've never had to deal with situations like these before; we're still relatively new parents, so we just weren't sure how we should or should not have responded.

I don't want to block my kids from experiencing how real jerk kids can be because that will leave them unprepared for life when we're not around... But when another kid who's 1-2 years older is yelling with his finger in my baby boy's face and he's *never* witnessed any kind of aggression before (directed at him or otherwise), he just stands there innocent and confused not understanding what's happening... And it breaks my heart and makes me want to grab that little monster by the ankles and Hulk smash him on the concrete a few times.  > > >

(Is swearing allowed on TI?)

 

[JasonTheArtist]

Parental intervention for bad behavior is the key. I agree with you Lucky. Ideally it should NOT  be you having to stop another child from hurting/threatening your child. But you are doing the right thing by protecting your child if others fail.

Thanks for that. To be honest, we've never had to deal with situations like these before; we're still relatively new parents, so we just weren't sure how we should or should not have responded.

I don't want to block my kids from experiencing how real jerk kids can be because that will leave them unprepared for life when we're not around... But when another kid who's 1-2 years older is yelling with his finger in my baby boy's face and he's *never* witnessed any kind of aggression before (directed at him or otherwise), he just stands there innocent and confused not understanding what's happening... And it breaks my heart and makes me want to grab that little monster by the ankles and Hulk smash him on the concrete a few times.  > > >

(Is swearing allowed on TI?)

I feel your rage. I would definitely speak up in your case. Studies do say that you should let your kids handle their won battles, but if your kid is in physical danger because of age difference, I would step in and tell the other kid that they need to play nice because "so & so" is little and fragile.