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This is not that abnormal. I have seen it numerous times where the home life (and finances) are completely run by the wife. This includes all the decision making that goes with purchases. One of the poor guys even had a small weekly allowance and that was his only discretionary money. They kind of just accept it and embrace the lack of responsibilities that come with it.
All the guy wanted was a freakin' CIVIC!!
It's bloody ridiculous! I told Mr. SoCal that's a slap in his face. For her to tell her husband, who is the primary breadwinner & a very good man, that he is unworthy of that is a total insult. It's not like he's asking for a lot. Sad!! Mr. SoCal ended up telling him: If your wife likes the Fit so much, then have her drive it and trade her car in for what you want.
Seriously, you're right, we've got to let the boys have their toys.
A bit off-topic here but I've often wondered if this is just the tip of the iceberg & they're in one of those "sexless marriages" you read about online where people only do it 10x a year or less. When Mr. SoCal leaves to come home for dinner, the friend is usually still sitting in his office and it's not uncommon for him to stay there until 1 or sometimes 2 a.m.! NOBODY is making him do that! The head honchos don't even ask him to. He'll do that and still be there the next morning. It's like he doesn't want to go home. Once they finally had a child, we thought that would change. It didn't. We've seen a decline in him over the years. He used to be good looking and a really nice, happy guy. Now he's grumpy and looks exhausted. I can't imagine him ever having an affair. There are almost no women in their office (I didn't mean to imply that's why he stays so late.) He's too withdrawn & defeated to have one, imo. I've often wondered if they will get divorced but they've been married for over 20 years now. Now she's been saying they have to move to the Pacific NW because it's her dream to live there. He does not want to go. He wants to stay here. But, he came back to work and said, "It looks like I'm moving..."
??? Her, her, her, it's all about her.
This is ridiculous. That's not a marriage, but a master/servant relationship. Shame on him for allowing this to happen...unless he actually ENJOYS that servant role.
We have a civic. I don't drive much. The car will be a couple years old in a few months and I just cracked 10K miles this after taking it to AZ three times and back. We looked around at all the small cars and have been blessed with the reliability that Honda provided so we in the end we decided to stick with Honda. I wanted the Fit because it was similar to an old civic we had years ago that was shaped like a crossover but it was a car and I liked the storage but the Fit was uncomfortable and as much as I wanted the storage in the back, I couldn't bring myself to get a car that was going feel like sitting on a bench if we drove it to AZ. The out the door price for the Fit was either slightly more or less than the civic so what is her thinking? They are both basic reliable Hondas, they will both depreciate at a similar rate and aren't that much different in price. Gas mileage?
It's hard to believe someone could be that controlling over another adult and that other person would allow it. Maybe his mom had the same personality.
You got a smart wife, don't ever sell that VTEC classic! The new one does not live up to the original and not many new car nowadays can either.
I'm drooling over this 1997 one with only 27k miles.
https://circleporsche.com/inventory/Acura+NSX+T+Long+Beach+California+1997+Red+931044
I can't take credit for inventing the definition of a sexless marriage.
"One in five couples are living in 'sexless' marriages, sex experts say, meaning having sex fewer than 10 times a year." https://marriagemissions.com/how-much-sex-is-normal/
"The definition of a non-sexual marriage is often broadened to include those where sexual intimacy occurs fewer than ten times per year"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexless_marriage
Oh, agree, love Hondas. That's all we've been driving for years because we both feel they are great cars. We've looked at & considered lots of other cars but keep coming back to them. Love their reliability, smooth ride, and the value. In fact, we recently bought a Civic as well (the Touring Sedan).
Yeah, the friend said his wife's primary reason for making him get the Fit instead of the Civic was the EPA rating on gas mileage. However, he's now getting worse mileage with the Fit than he did with his old Civic. Go figure.
Today's prices seem ridiculous on the surface, but they're not isolated to NSXs. I remember looking at old 911SCs and not being able to stomach paying $15k for one. That was about 8 years ago. Today those same cars are going for $30-40k. A lot of Porsche models are completely off the hook. Not unlike homes around here, I can guess what's causing the inflation.
And yes, I do have a smart wife, and I can't possibly be unhappy about keeping the NSX. And she likes the car, but I think her unwillingness to sell it is more strategic in having it take up a parking space and complicating the logistics of buying another garage queen. ;D
SoCal said:aquabliss said:
He's a Prin*cip*al S*oftw*are Eng*in*eer. (<--Trying to make this not Googleable.) Fairly quiet, reserved, enjoys working solo in a dark office, not exactly a social butterfly. A typical computer nerd, I would say. I'm not trying to knock this personality type, btw. I know there are probably plenty of other guys like this on TI.He's actually Mr. SoCal's BFF, met back in high school, grew up together, and now, over 30 years later, they work together at the same company, do the same thing, same team, similar personalities.
We are sad for him. Sometimes I think we're biased because he's the friend and she's just the "wife of the friend". But I have to remember -- like the other comment here said earlier -- he chose this life. Or should I say she chose it and he went along with it? She the one who pursued him. I met them 100 years ago when I met Mr. SoCal. I always felt she came off bossy & high-maintenance even way back then.
This is not that abnormal. I have seen it numerous times where the home life (and finances) are completely run by the wife. This includes all the decision making that goes with purchases. One of the poor guys even had a small weekly allowance and that was his only discretionary money. They kind of just accept it and embrace the lack of responsibilities that come with it.
socal78
Well-known member
Happiness said:
All the guy wanted was a freakin' CIVIC!!
It's bloody ridiculous! I told Mr. SoCal that's a slap in his face. For her to tell her husband, who is the primary breadwinner & a very good man, that he is unworthy of that is a total insult. It's not like he's asking for a lot. Sad!! Mr. SoCal ended up telling him: If your wife likes the Fit so much, then have her drive it and trade her car in for what you want.
socal78
Well-known member
Paris said:
Seriously, you're right, we've got to let the boys have their toys.
A bit off-topic here but I've often wondered if this is just the tip of the iceberg & they're in one of those "sexless marriages" you read about online where people only do it 10x a year or less. When Mr. SoCal leaves to come home for dinner, the friend is usually still sitting in his office and it's not uncommon for him to stay there until 1 or sometimes 2 a.m.! NOBODY is making him do that! The head honchos don't even ask him to. He'll do that and still be there the next morning. It's like he doesn't want to go home. Once they finally had a child, we thought that would change. It didn't. We've seen a decline in him over the years. He used to be good looking and a really nice, happy guy. Now he's grumpy and looks exhausted. I can't imagine him ever having an affair. There are almost no women in their office (I didn't mean to imply that's why he stays so late.) He's too withdrawn & defeated to have one, imo. I've often wondered if they will get divorced but they've been married for over 20 years now. Now she's been saying they have to move to the Pacific NW because it's her dream to live there. He does not want to go. He wants to stay here. But, he came back to work and said, "It looks like I'm moving..."
??? Her, her, her, it's all about her.
zubs
Well-known member
The term for sexless marriage is dead bedroom. Here is the internet forum for it.https://www.reddit.com/r/deadbedroom/
paydawg
Active member
SoCal said:Happiness said:
All the guy wanted was a freakin' CIVIC!!
It's bloody ridiculous! I told Mr. SoCal that's a slap in his face. For her to tell her husband, who is the primary breadwinner & a very good man, that he is unworthy of that is a total insult. It's not like he's asking for a lot. Sad!! Mr. SoCal ended up telling him: If your wife likes the Fit so much, then have her drive it and trade her car in for what you want.
This is ridiculous. That's not a marriage, but a master/servant relationship. Shame on him for allowing this to happen...unless he actually ENJOYS that servant role.
It sounds like he is miserable and has given up. But if Mr. Socal values his friendship then he needs to tread carefully, unless he's really willing to go all in. E.g., he should probably avoid taking the tact of having his buddy put his foot down unless divorce is an option.
So the kid is 5 or under? Is mom doing all the care taking outside of school/daycare?
So the kid is 5 or under? Is mom doing all the care taking outside of school/daycare?
Back to your original question, my wife would be OK with anything to the right of practical, and part of that is making sure it's not too much $$$. To the left of practical, she says I can have any car I want as long as I can afford it, but there is some unspoken guilt lying under the surface of "being able to afford it". I.e., "if you really think spending all that money on a 2 seat turbocharged gokart is the best thing for this family, what with job uncertainties, retirement cost uncertainties, general living uncertainties, college cost uncertainties, etc, then by all means, go ahead and get that ubermobile". Oh, and I have a garage queen I bought 11 years ago, which she won't let me sell. So my wife will let me buy what I want, but won't let me sell what I have lol.
Paris167
New member
As someone that sees unexpected death all day long can I please give you all some advice. Life is about BALANCE because really tomorrow is never guaranteed. Yes it's important to save for retirement expecting to live until 90 but never forget that life is fragile. It only takes a micro-second for your entire life course to change.
That being said if you want to buy that high performance sport car or have always wanted to go to Costa Rica - whatever, just do it. Life is not about the 9-5 and waiting until you are 65 to enjoy it. Life is about enjoying it every single day not expecting a tomorrow and enjoying being in the present. So don't let anyone (including your spouse) keep you from your happiness.
Which takes me to my next point. Life is way too short to be stuck in a relationship you don't want to be in. period.
That being said if you want to buy that high performance sport car or have always wanted to go to Costa Rica - whatever, just do it. Life is not about the 9-5 and waiting until you are 65 to enjoy it. Life is about enjoying it every single day not expecting a tomorrow and enjoying being in the present. So don't let anyone (including your spouse) keep you from your happiness.
Which takes me to my next point. Life is way too short to be stuck in a relationship you don't want to be in. period.
Ready2Downsize
Well-known member
SoCal said:Happiness said:
All the guy wanted was a freakin' CIVIC!!
It's bloody ridiculous! I told Mr. SoCal that's a slap in his face. For her to tell her husband, who is the primary breadwinner & a very good man, that he is unworthy of that is a total insult. It's not like he's asking for a lot. Sad!! Mr. SoCal ended up telling him: If your wife likes the Fit so much, then have her drive it and trade her car in for what you want.
We have a civic. I don't drive much. The car will be a couple years old in a few months and I just cracked 10K miles this after taking it to AZ three times and back. We looked around at all the small cars and have been blessed with the reliability that Honda provided so we in the end we decided to stick with Honda. I wanted the Fit because it was similar to an old civic we had years ago that was shaped like a crossover but it was a car and I liked the storage but the Fit was uncomfortable and as much as I wanted the storage in the back, I couldn't bring myself to get a car that was going feel like sitting on a bench if we drove it to AZ. The out the door price for the Fit was either slightly more or less than the civic so what is her thinking? They are both basic reliable Hondas, they will both depreciate at a similar rate and aren't that much different in price. Gas mileage?
It's hard to believe someone could be that controlling over another adult and that other person would allow it. Maybe his mom had the same personality.
daedalus said:
You got a smart wife, don't ever sell that VTEC classic! The new one does not live up to the original and not many new car nowadays can either.
I'm drooling over this 1997 one with only 27k miles.
https://circleporsche.com/inventory/Acura+NSX+T+Long+Beach+California+1997+Red+931044
socal78
Well-known member
Happiness said:
I can't take credit for inventing the definition of a sexless marriage.
"One in five couples are living in 'sexless' marriages, sex experts say, meaning having sex fewer than 10 times a year." https://marriagemissions.com/how-much-sex-is-normal/
"The definition of a non-sexual marriage is often broadened to include those where sexual intimacy occurs fewer than ten times per year"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexless_marriage
socal78
Well-known member
Ready2Downsize said:SoCal said:All the guy wanted was a freakin' CIVIC!!
It's bloody ridiculous! I told Mr. SoCal that's a slap in his face. For her to tell her husband, who is the primary breadwinner & a very good man, that he is unworthy of that is a total insult. It's not like he's asking for a lot. Sad!! Mr. SoCal ended up telling him: If your wife likes the Fit so much, then have her drive it and trade her car in for what you want.
We have a civic. I don't drive much. The car will be a couple years old in a few months and I just cracked 10K miles this after taking it to AZ three times and back. We looked around at all the small cars and have been blessed with the reliability that Honda provided so we in the end we decided to stick with Honda. I wanted the Fit because it was similar to an old civic we had years ago that was shaped like a crossover but it was a car and I liked the storage but the Fit was uncomfortable and as much as I wanted the storage in the back, I couldn't bring myself to get a car that was going feel like sitting on a bench if we drove it to AZ. The out the door price for the Fit was either slightly more or less than the civic so what is her thinking? They are both basic reliable Hondas, they will both depreciate at a similar rate and aren't that much different in price. Gas mileage?
It's hard to believe someone could be that controlling over another adult and that other person would allow it. Maybe his mom had the same personality.
Oh, agree, love Hondas. That's all we've been driving for years because we both feel they are great cars. We've looked at & considered lots of other cars but keep coming back to them. Love their reliability, smooth ride, and the value. In fact, we recently bought a Civic as well (the Touring Sedan).
Yeah, the friend said his wife's primary reason for making him get the Fit instead of the Civic was the EPA rating on gas mileage. However, he's now getting worse mileage with the Fit than he did with his old Civic. Go figure.
KBB values have been a long running joke in the NSX community. I think when I bought mine, KBB said it was worth about 2/3 what I paid, and I think I got a decent deal. I recall creating a linear regression equation to determine fair market asking prices, which considered factors such as miles, color and age. Each mile knocks 12 cents off the value, FWIW...or at least it used to. 11 years ago that red '97 would have sold for about $50k I think. Average price was in the mid to high $40s for that year, but this red ones has very low miles.lnc said:
Today's prices seem ridiculous on the surface, but they're not isolated to NSXs. I remember looking at old 911SCs and not being able to stomach paying $15k for one. That was about 8 years ago. Today those same cars are going for $30-40k. A lot of Porsche models are completely off the hook. Not unlike homes around here, I can guess what's causing the inflation.
And yes, I do have a smart wife, and I can't possibly be unhappy about keeping the NSX. And she likes the car, but I think her unwillingness to sell it is more strategic in having it take up a parking space and complicating the logistics of buying another garage queen. ;D