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[quote author="Trooper" date=1223829508]

Sometimes I wish I hadn't learned to be so careful about money matters...because my future pension was ultimately the final factor when I made my decision. So how shitty am I ? I chose money over the love of my life.



</blockquote>


Troop - dont beat yourself up over this. I have had two friends who relocated for their girlfriends and made significant financial sacrifices, both of them later broke up with their girlfriends and regret ever relocating, due to the significant financial consequences. So while you may never know if it would have worked out, statistic's say that there are a hell of a lot of failed marriages - so looking out for yourself financially was not necessarily the wrong thing to do.



Its easy to say that one should not pick money over happiness. I grew up in a low income family, so i know exactly what it is like not to have money - so a lot of my decisions, not all, are made on what is best for me financially. Most people that say money doesnt make you happy seem to be those that have always had money (in my experience). Im very happy with my life right now, a big reason is that i am financially secure.



Love dont cost a thing, but love cant buy you a damn thing.



Good luck!
 
I'm intriqued by the du Maurier (ashtray?). At first glance I thought it might have been a book about Daphne Du Maurier. Coincidence???
 
Thank you for sharing with us Stacey, obviously you have a lot of Friends here...



It's pretty sad in this Day and age that good People like yourself can't live the way they want to...



I think everything else has already been said...all I can do is wish you luck knowing that one Day you'll find that special someone and live happily ever after...



There is someone for everyone
 
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BethN....I searched the author <a href="http://www.sussex.ac.uk/press_office/media/media621.shtml">here</a> but do not get the gist of what you are saying. I mean, other than she is a Jane Austen fan...



Clarify?
 
I stopped to snap this pic while packing for my upcoming move...in honor of my friend Trooper. These kids were on the corner of Alton and Culver, around 1pm.



Make your own kind of music!<object width="325" height="250"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/youtube" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="325" height="250"></embed></object>
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Trooper, try <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daphne_du_Maurier">this</a>. starting in the 3rd paragraph under: Personal life. I think you will find it very topical to your recent posts. Sorry if I seemed obtuse.
 
[quote author="irvinesinglemom" date=1223868002]I stopped to snap this pic while packing for my upcoming move...in honor of my friend Trooper. These kids were on the corner of Alton and Culver, around 1pm.



Make your own kind of music!<object width="325" height="250"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/youtube" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="325" height="250"></embed></object></blockquote>


ISM, I drove by them around 1 as well. People were honkin left and right, seemed like they were havin a good ol time.
 
[quote author="Trooper" date=1223788729]



<a href="http://home.comcast.net/~nudedj/TroopersCanadian.bmp">During happier times</a></blockquote>


What a cutie!



And this thread is awesome and terrible at the same time.
 
Troop,



Thanks for sharing your story, that was awfully magnanimous of you. Personally, I'm voting no on 8 since I'm surrounded with gays in my life as well.



I attended an exclusive Catholic high school and in our little circle of 16 friends, I was the only straight "outcast" ;-P That experience, however, opened my eyes to all the struggles that my friends went through as they fought for their rights with our teachers and administrators (the nuns couldn't be swayed, alas), and most especially with their parents and their families.



There was definitely a lot of drama growing up, and a lot of times my friends would be told that it was just a phase that they would grow out of. I can now say that while some of my friends are now in hetero relationships, they've unabashedly shared that they were only doing so to make their parents happy :(



I consider myself a spiritual person (I find religion to have stringent rules at times), and I think that it shouldn't matter with whom it is you find a connection, it just matters that you find it.
 
Trooper,

Thank you so much for telling your story. It was really moving. In some ways, the tale was unique. In other ways, it was a sadly familiar narrative to members of the LGBT community. From family acceptance to society's, it is truly a struggle. Your story vividly illustrates the need for equality in all things, and marriage in particular. It's hard enough to find a partner in life, without society throwing up extra road blocks.



<strong>No on 8!</strong>
 
Trooper,



I've been a long-time lurker, and have always appreciated your balanced insights on topics familiar and unfamiliar.



Thank you for sharing your story. It's horrible that you have had to endure this kind of hardship. I share your disdain for most organized religion; your story drives that home.



You are not alone in your sacrifices.



The below story reminded me of you this morning. Favorite quote: ""At what point do you cease to be an agent for healing and growth and become an accomplice of injustice?" he asked." I imagine his inner turmoil was no different than yours.



<a href="http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-gaypriest13-2008oct13,0,229003,full.story">Stand against Prop. 8 costs priest dearly</a>
 
NoThereThere, Yes, I posted that article to another thread yesterday.....and highlighted that exact quote. Here's another bit of info:



<strong>The priest also was stripped of his salary and benefits, and ordered to stay away from all church communities he had served.</strong>



An absolute hero. I will reserve comment on how I feel about the Catholic Church.



I mean, if they didn't allow gays period....do you have any idea how many nuns and priest they would have left ?



My guess: Not many.
 
Troop,



I am sorry to join the party late. I took the weekend off and trailing 50 from your infamous 3k post. Behind your tough cop facade is a real sensitive and caring individual. Your 3k post is by far the best post I've read here on IHB. Thank you your courageous testimony and I am truly honored by your friendship.
 
[quote author="no_vaseline" date=1223970561]I used to attend Mass at the Newman Center.</blockquote>


My wife and I met at the Newman center... in Tucson that is. :lol:



Troop, I know the feeling the church and I have long butted heads. In many talks I've had with priests they are inflexable, unyeilding and UNABLE to even think of any other ideas or thoughts. No gray area... its quite sad. There area few that are at least open minded, but they are few and far between.



good luck

-bix
 
Congrats, Troop!



Sorry I missed this until now. Thanks so much for sharing your story. I think sharing life stories like this are really important, but I can absolutely respect why people shy away from doing so.
 
[quote author="biscuitninja" date=1223984953][quote author="no_vaseline" date=1223970561]I used to attend Mass at the Newman Center.</blockquote>


My wife and I met at the Newman center... in Tucson that is. :lol:</blockquote>


I mean I used to attend mass at THAT SPECIFIC Newman Center.



This is surreal. I thought my Red Mass attendence was an event.
 
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