Would you adopt?

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In a world of self interest and selfishness, adoption is a life changing act of selflessness, props to those who adopt
 
SoCal said:
irvinehomeowner said:
We would adopt locally.

We've thought about it because we've always wanted a large family.
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Wow, you must have a lot of energy. Iho, aren't you already around 50 or so?? At what age are you planning to start, or shall I say 'complete', this large family? I would imagine with spacing between adoptions you might be getting up there in years by the time the final head-count is in. My hat is off to you for such an undertaking at that age.
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Age is nothing but number.

But I can see what you mean about the birth order so I would adopt younger than my kids but not diapers young (too old for that).

Although it would be nice to have another driver in the house. :)
 
My story:

I am the oldest son of a family of 8 kids. (No, we are neither Catholic or Mormon). My Parents adopted my older sister via a legal service. I came to my parents through The Childrens Home Society. My younger sister, and two brothers were later adopted through legal means. All of us were adopted as infants. My parents then were able to have two children of their own (this is pre IVF, at in late 30's so miracle babies to say the least). They capped it all off by adopting a Korean girl, a second adoption since the first one did not go as planned with her originally assigned family. This sister was 8-9 at the time of the adoption. Quite an age/gender spread to say the least.

I can't ever recall a single time that any of my brothers or sisters thought they were anything less than blood relatives, even though we were all told early on how we were brought into the family through adoption. My parents gave us all the love and support they could muster, given how thinly streched they had to be what with so many kids at the time. I have Soylent Yellow and Soylent Blue, both teenagers and that's a handful. It's tough to imagine having 5-6 teenagers of both sexes all at once to shepherd! 

Every one of us has wondered "Why was I given up?" or "What is my background?" and anyone reading this and thinking of adopting should plan on answering these questions with depth and honesty. They are mere questions born out of the curious nature of an adoption and rarely anything more. My parents are my parents. All 6 out of our 8 would say the same. Having met my Birthmother, she was able to fill in many of the other questions that I had, but in all honesty, that was all that came out of our meeting. She had her life, I have mine. It's highly likely that our reunification mended an important part of her worldview. Reunification should also be considered when adopting, IE "How much access should I give my child to birth family data?" or "what happens if the birth parents try to re-connect?".  In the end even after meeting one half of my birth line, as said before, my parents remain my parents. There is no changing that line in the sand for me, ever.

To adopt or not is an extraordinary question to solve. Even though I've been adopted, I can't say myself if I'd be able to adopt if we weren't able to have kids on our own.  Give Childrens Home Society a ring and see what resource they have to help answer the question. Another person I recommend on the subject is a Redfin Realtor, Karl Stenske. Karl has an extensive background on adoption issues and a servants heart on the subject. Anyone reading can PM me with questions as well if you prefer.

My .02c

Soylent Green Is People.

 
Soylent Green Is People said:
My story:

I am the oldest son of a family of 8 kids. (No, we are neither Catholic or Mormon). My Parents adopted my older sister via a legal service. I came to my parents through The Childrens Home Society. My younger sister, and two brothers were later adopted through legal means. All of us were adopted as infants. My parents then were able to have two children of their own (this is pre IVF, at in late 30's so miracle babies to say the least). They capped it all off by adopting a Korean girl, a second adoption since the first one did not go as planned with her originally assigned family. This sister was 8-9 at the time of the adoption. Quite an age/gender spread to say the least.

I can't ever recall a single time that any of my brothers or sisters thought they were anything less than blood relatives, even though we were all told early on how we were brought into the family through adoption. My parents gave us all the love and support they could muster, given how thinly streched they had to be what with so many kids at the time. I have Soylent Yellow and Soylent Blue, both teenagers and that's a handful. It's tough to imagine having 5-6 teenagers of both sexes all at once to shepherd! 

Every one of us has wondered "Why was I given up?" or "What is my background?" and anyone reading this and thinking of adopting should plan on answering these questions with depth and honesty. They are mere questions born out of the curious nature of an adoption and rarely anything more. My parents are my parents. All 6 out of our 8 would say the same. Having met my Birthmother, she was able to fill in many of the other questions that I had, but in all honesty, that was all that came out of our meeting. She had her life, I have mine. It's highly likely that our reunification mended an important part of her worldview. Reunification should also be considered when adopting, IE "How much access should I give my child to birth family data?" or "what happens if the birth parents try to re-connect?".  In the end even after meeting one half of my birth line, as said before, my parents remain my parents. There is no changing that line in the sand for me, ever.

To adopt or not is an extraordinary question to solve. Even though I've been adopted, I can't say myself if I'd be able to adopt if we weren't able to have kids on our own.  Give Childrens Home Society a ring and see what resource they have to help answer the question. Another person I recommend on the subject is a Redfin Realtor, Karl Stenske. Karl has an extensive background on adoption issues and a servants heart on the subject. Anyone reading can PM me with questions as well if you prefer.

My .02c

Soylent Green Is People.
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I can see that you love your adopted parents very much. After all they are the one that raised you. That is an awesome story. Thanks for sharing.
 
SGIP's story is part of the reason we want to adopt... I just have my doubts on how well we can parent considering we struggle with the kids we have now.

I think I am good with kids... just not my own. :)
 
Not to disparage CV's reply, but at some point in time, either at the kid  or adult stage, one will drop "adoptive" out of their descriptive vocabulary and stick with "parents" only. I had to learn the term "birthfather" and "birthmother" to describe what my origins were, but rarely use "adoptive" to describe my Mom and Dad.

I saw something recently saying that families with 4 or more children tend to be happier than other family groups. It's easier to manage 4 kids than 2 since the older ones burdenshare the responsibilities. Larger families also tend to entertain themselves easier given the unique interests and personalities.

"I think I'm good with kids..." reminds me of the old joke "It's OK to say you love kids. It's not OK to say I love 12 yr olds"

My .02c

 
Great story Soylent, kudos to people who adopt. I might be open to it, the hubby, we'll see. We're on the fence about kids in general.

I follow Frank Somerville on Facebook, he's an Oakland area newscaster. They have a biological child and adopted another. It's so great to see the story of those who have adopted and their journey. It takes very giving/brave people to go out of the norm of having to feel they need that biological or even racial/ethnic connection to a child to be a parent.
 
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