Things you wish you could tell people.

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Dear Mom,



I'm sorry, but I am not getting you a wedding present. It's your fifth wedding FFS. And really... you need to figure out what it is you want to be when you grow up, considering retirement is only 3 years away. Also, if your new husband calls me "son" one more time, I'm laying him out.



Love,

Me
 
So this one's lame but whatever:

Dear Biggest Loser show,

Please stop making me cry. It's been a rough day and I am having a hard time feeling bad for myself when I see you working hard and telling your touching life stories. Especially you, <a href="http://www.etonline.com/news/2009/08/77851/">Abby</a>. Your positivity inspires me.





So I'll write one more:

Dear people on IHB who are excessively and or unnecessarily rude and mean,

Knock it off, please.



But now I feel the need to get this out so last one, I promise.

Dear weird lady on the flight next to me for 10 hours yesterday,

I don't understand why you wouldn't be willing to switch seats with my husband so we could sit together on a flight for 10 HOURS. You weren't flying with a companion and you would have switched an aisle seat for an aisle seat. Even after that, I could forgive you but to further aggravate the situation, you ask me to lift the shade up three times, despite the fact that the sun is in my eyes and I'm trying to take a nap. I'm uncomfortable when you want to lean too close into my personal space to see through said window so that you can figure out where we are...ummm...it's a 10 HOUR flight...do you really think you'll be able to tell where we are since we're looking at the Atlantic ocean for hours? I also don't understand why the one time I ask you to let me out to pee (yes, ONE TIME ON THE ENTIRE FLIGHT), you can't get out of your seat and instead ask me to climb over your legs (thanks for shifting them to the left a little) when the person in front of both you and I have their seats reclined. As if the climb out wasn't awkward enough, you still aren't willing to get up when I return. I just don't get it. You are not old, nor do you seem to have any physical ailments as I see you seemingly spry once we got off the plane. For future reference, my husband would have gotten out of his seat to let me pee.



Sincerely,

ohnelly
 
Dear Husband,



We need to talk. About your sockballs. Again. I find them everywhere. In the magazine rack, in the bookcase, on the stairs, under your chair, on the dining room table etc. Do I need to show you where the hamper is? Im fairly certain that you know where it is because your other dirty clothes wind up there so I am confused. Anyway, sockballs are the bane of my existence. Im just sayin.



Love you



Grace
 
[quote author="GraceOMalley" date=1253103245]Dear Husband,



We need to talk. About your sockballs. Again. I find them everywhere. In the magazine rack, in the bookcase, on the stairs, under your chair, on the dining room table etc. Do I need to show you where the hamper is? Im fairly certain that you know where it is because your other dirty clothes wind up there so I am confused. Anyway, sockballs are the bane of my existence. Im just sayin.



Love you



Grace</blockquote>


Yes, and could someone besides me, just once, change the toilet roll? It's really not supposed to sit on the top of the holder. Ok, now I'm just bitching, I guess I really do say that.
 
Dear Right Wing Fundamentalist Republicans:

Please, for the love of God, just move to the Eastern side of the Mississippi - all of you. Pack up and move the hell to the other side of the country. And then please, for mercy's sake, start demanding that the Eastern half split from the rest and form your own country. If you can only accomplish this, then I will forever bite my tongue no matter what stupid shit you come up with next. I promise.



Signed,

Sick of your ass
 
[quote author="gypsyuma" date=1253105196]Dear Right Wing Fundamentalist Republicans:

Please, for the love of God, just move to the Eastern side of the Mississippi - all of you. Pack up and move the hell to the other side of the country. And then please, for mercy's sake, start demanding that the Eastern half split from the rest and form your own country. If you can only accomplish this, then I will forever bite my tongue no matter what stupid shit you come up with next. I promise.



Signed,

Sick of your ass</blockquote>


You just might get WINEX to rejoin us after that post :P. I have to agree, the stupid sh** some of them have come up with lately is truly epic.
 
[quote author="tmare" date=1253105383][quote author="gypsyuma" date=1253105196]Dear Right Wing Fundamentalist Republicans:

Please, for the love of God, just move to the Eastern side of the Mississippi - all of you. Pack up and move the hell to the other side of the country. And then please, for mercy's sake, start demanding that the Eastern half split from the rest and form your own country. If you can only accomplish this, then I will forever bite my tongue no matter what stupid shit you come up with next. I promise.



Signed,

Sick of your ass</blockquote>


You just might get WINEX to rejoin us after that post :P. I have to agree, the stupid sh** some of them have come up with lately is truly epic.</blockquote>
Yes, because that combination of Stimulus Bill, TARP2, housing $8000 tax credit, Cash 4 Clunkers, and blooming Trade War with China has been a master stroke of brilliance and ingenuity. :shut:
 
[quote author="traceimage" date=1253077926]Sometimes I have things I want to get off my chest, but I can't because it is socially unacceptable or none of my business. So how about doing it here?



Dear B:



It is tacky to put "gift cards welcome, thanks!" on that little note on your Babies R Us baby registry. This is tacky because

it's obvious (who wouldn't want a gift card from a store they obviously shop at?), and because it implies you're just interested in the monetary value of the gift and don't want your friends/family/random online stalkers taking the time to pick out a nice present for your baby. Maybe you're just trying to be nice and letting people know that if they're too busy to pick out a gift, it's ok, and they can just send you a gift card. But it's still tacky. You might as well be saying, "cash welcome!"



You also said, "please include a gift receipt." This is tacky and stupid because presumably, you only put things you want on your baby registry to begin with, so why would they need to include a gift receipt? Maybe you're worried that you might get two of the same items (unlikely since the registry self-updates when someone buys something). Or maybe your concern is that something will be damaged and you'll need to return it. I guess that's plausible. But I still think it's tacky.



Ok, I feel better now!</blockquote>


Gift cards are so they can be pooled together to buy the really expensive stuff one single gift-giver couldn't give. Consider it a share of a carseat, stroller or crib (or for wedding registries, a piece of furniture). They are also to buy the little things you didn't know to register for because of inexperience.



Gift receipts are because the registry system rarely works the way it should. If someone forgets to have the cashier scan the page it doesn't subtract it. If several folks are doing last minute shopping it doesn't always work either. Some folks are also dense and have trouble understanding what "fulfilled" or "Need: 0" means. Other folks are extra annoying when they ignore the registry and get you something they would like instead.
 
I have another one.



Dear annoying Facebook friend:



Please stop writing daily status messages about how you are enjoying your life in "beautiful wine country Temecula California." Which is literally how you write it, with no punctuation. Example: "A is enjoying the 90 degree weather in beautiful wine country Temecula California." Or "A is having a wonderful day in beautiful wine country Temecula California." These daily updates are really unnecessary and redundant. Also, I really think that the Napa Valley is the proper wine country, not Temecula.
 
[quote author="traceimage" date=1253109631]Also, I really think that the Napa Valley is the proper wine country, not Temecula.</blockquote>


Agreed! Anyone who boasts of Temecula as wine country, let alone beautiful, has never been to wine country. Are they from the 909 by chance?
 
[quote author="graphrix" date=1253111815][quote author="traceimage" date=1253109631]Also, I really think that the Napa Valley is the proper wine country, not Temecula.</blockquote>


Agreed! Anyone who boasts of Temecula as wine country, let alone beautiful, has never been to wine country. Are they from the 909 by chance?</blockquote>


Dear California Winemakers,



F--- Robert Parker. After having access only to wines with 13% alcohol or less, I have to say that I really enjoy splitting a bottle of wine with one other person and still remember it in the morning. Not all of us are looking to get a buzz on after only one glass. From now on, I will likely be buying only foreign produced wines with "low" alcohol content.



Love,



A Former Buyer
 
[quote author="graphrix" date=1253111815][quote author="traceimage" date=1253109631]Also, I really think that the Napa Valley is the proper wine country, not Temecula.</blockquote>


Agreed! Anyone who boasts of Temecula as wine country, let alone beautiful, has never been to wine country. Are they from the 909 by chance?</blockquote>


Everywhere is wine country if you grow region appropriate grapes. Don't hate. Some of the Italian varietals they grow over in Temecula are pretty spectacular. When the market demands Pinot Nior or Chardonnays, well, not so much.



[quote author="EvaLSeraphim" date=1253112678]



Dear California Winemakers,



F--- Robert Parker. After having access only to wines with 13% alcohol or less, I have to say that I really enjoy splitting a bottle of wine with one other person and still remember it in the morning. Not all of us are looking to get a buzz on after only one glass. From now on, I will likely be buying only foreign produced wines with "low" alcohol content.



Love,



A Former Buyer</blockquote>


That?s the fault of global warming and drip irrigation technology here in California. I stopped drinking wines on a regular basis about three years ago when the alcohol passed 14%. I went to dinner with some friends about a month ago and the Zins we drank (my buddy picked one, I picked two) were 15.2%, 15.6%. and 15.9%! You?re into desert wine territory there! The Europeans can?t build that much sugar into the fruit because irrigation is illegal, and you?ll literally burn up the crop if you try.



Or, you can blame Fresno State and their viticulture program if that makes your life easy. Either way.
 
[quote author="graphrix" date=1253111815][quote author="traceimage" date=1253109631]Also, I really think that the Napa Valley is the proper wine country, not Temecula.</blockquote>


Agreed! Anyone who boasts of Temecula as wine country, let alone beautiful, has never been to wine country. Are they from the 909 by chance?</blockquote>


I have a few friends that think Temecula is wine Country and have never been to the real thing. I try and be nice and say.

On a 1-10 Scale. Temecula is a weak 2. YUCK 909 Wine. (Disclaimer). I do like Stuart Cellars Zin Porto.



Sonoma, Alexander Valley, Russian River, Dry Creek. "Heaven Condensed"

<a href="http://www.wineroad.com/">http://www.wineroad.com/</a> Great Site.

Online Interactive Maps by region.
 
Dear California Wine drinkers,



2006 wine grape production was <a href="http://westernfarmpress.com/news/111006-grape-production/">5.75 million tons.</a> And most of <a href="http://www.wineinstitute.org/resources/consumerfeaturedstories/article339">that production isn't on this list. </a> The only real wine region is the four letter word they don't want you to know about - Lodi. <a href="http://www.lodiwine.com/lodirules_history1.shtml">20% of California's production </a> comes from this God forsaken place, but why let the facts get in the way of a good story? The math don't work out so good when you figure out how many cases come out of Napa and Sonoma, and how much production they can get out of that region. When was the last time you saw a bottle of Lodi wine, and where do you think those grapes are going? Here's a hint - you're probably drinking it right now.



My suggestion is that you figure out what grows well in a certain locale and drink that. Temecula makes awesome Italian varietals. Amador County makes California's best Zins. Paso Robles makes decent Cabernets, zins, and Italian varietals. And Santa Barbara makes...a decent merlot and vigoner.



Nobody in California makes a good pinot anymore unless you like over oaked glasses of ripe cherry juice that have so much alcohol you have to really consider switching to cocktails as an alternative. Damn that movie Sideways!



Sincerely,



no_vaseline (recovering grape grower)
 
[quote author="gypsyuma" date=1253105196]Dear Right Wing Fundamentalist Republicans:

Please, for the love of God, just move to the Eastern side of the Mississippi - all of you. Pack up and move the hell to the other side of the country. And then please, for mercy's sake, start demanding that the Eastern half split from the rest and form your own country. If you can only accomplish this, then I will forever bite my tongue no matter what stupid shit you come up with next. I promise.



Signed,

Sick of your ass</blockquote>


For the love of god, please bring back the John Birch society to Orange County. I miss the Orange County of my childhood.



(i'm just kidding by the way)
 
Dear S****



We've decided not to send you a birthday present this year. Did you notice? After years of sending presents with no acknowledgement we've decided to stop. Hope you enjoyed your card because that's all you?re getting.
 
[quote author="graphrix" date=1253111815][quote author="traceimage" date=1253109631]Also, I really think that the Napa Valley is the proper wine country, not Temecula.</blockquote>


Agreed! Anyone who boasts of Temecula as wine country, let alone beautiful, has never been to wine country. Are they from the 909 by chance?</blockquote>


No, she's an inland empire transplant. She's originally from Huntington Beach (my hometown too).



No_vas, honestly I'm not much of a wine drinker so I don't really know if there are any good wines from Temecula. But when I think of "wine country," I think of Napa.
 
i dont think asking for gift cards (or better yet: cash) is tacky. what is tacky is i know someone who puts together her own gift registry for her birthday each yr!
 
[quote author="no_vaseline" date=1253138453]Dear California Wine drinkers,



2006 wine grape production was <a href="http://westernfarmpress.com/news/111006-grape-production/">5.75 million tons.</a> And most of <a href="http://www.wineinstitute.org/resources/consumerfeaturedstories/article339">that production isn't on this list. </a> The only real wine region is the four letter word they don't want you to know about - Lodi. <a href="http://www.lodiwine.com/lodirules_history1.shtml">20% of California's production </a> comes from this God forsaken place, but why let the facts get in the way of a good story? The math don't work out so good when you figure out how many cases come out of Napa and Sonoma, and how much production they can get out of that region. When was the last time you saw a bottle of Lodi wine, and where do you think those grapes are going? Here's a hint - you're probably drinking it right now.



My suggestion is that you figure out what grows well in a certain locale and drink that. Temecula makes awesome Italian varietals. Amador County makes California's best Zins. Paso Robles makes decent Cabernets, zins, and Italian varietals. And Santa Barbara makes...a decent merlot and vigoner.



Nobody in California makes a good pinot anymore unless you like over oaked glasses of ripe cherry juice that have so much alcohol you have to really consider switching to cocktails as an alternative. Damn that movie Sideways!



Sincerely,



no_vaseline (recovering grape grower)</blockquote>


Now you made me go look at my past consumption and, that I know of, I have drank only seven bottles from the Central Valley (Lodi, Alta Mesa, and Clarksburg appellations to be specific). The 2007 Scribner Bend Fiano Novatino (Clarksburg) was enjoyable. I don't know if it would be considered "good" because I had no experience with the Fiano grape. The 2007 Fenestra Torront?s Silvaspoons (Alta Mesa) was also quite enjoyable and reminded me a dry muscat. Again, I don't know if it would be considered "good" because I had no experience with the Torrontes grape.



There are two people who have me chomping at the bit to go wine tasting in Lodi: Thomas Coyne and Jeff Runquist. Coyne, for his 2005 Vino Tinto Reserva (a really wonderful blend of 5 Portuguese varietals: Touriga, Tinta Roriz, Grenache, Sousao, and Trousseau), and Runquist for his 2007 Touriga Nacional Silvaspoons.



FWIW, Weins in Temecula sources their Dolcetto (which I liked) from Lodi.



Given how hot it gets out there, though, you are looking at high alc wines almost across the board.
 
[quote author="graphrix" date=1253111815][quote author="traceimage" date=1253109631]Also, I really think that the Napa Valley is the proper wine country, not Temecula.</blockquote>


Agreed! Anyone who boasts of Temecula as wine country, let alone beautiful, has never been to wine country. Are they from the 909 by chance?</blockquote>


I personally find Temecula quite beautiful for southern california, but I have never tasted any of the wines from there. Of course it was much more beautiful ten years ago before they plowed over the area with more cookie-cutter homes and redundant chain stores.



Thank God, that sonoma has stayed pretty much the same despite the housing boom. I wish I could say the same for the surrounding cities.
 
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