The IHB Singles Club

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irvinesinglemom_IHB

irvinesinglemom_IHB

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Okay, let's get this thing going already. I'll be first. Divorced, 37, one preschooler, MBA-degreed, curly brown hair, fit and getting fitter. Into bubble blogging, hiking, love my job, love my son, NPR fan, lean toward conservative except when it comes to choice (I am Woman, Hear me Roar) and religion (stay outta public schools, and off my body). Purchased first home in 1998, sold house in 2005, now renting. Financially comfortable and plan on staying that way via fiscally-responsible lifestyle, strong income and methodical investing strategy. Looking for a man around my age or up to 15 years older, professional, brilliant, emotionally balanced, must understand my son will always be #1. (Maybe a single dad?). So. There it is. Anybody else care to share? Feel free to use the "whisper" option if you're shy. :-)
 
<p>Kali, in that case, why don't you tell them what you don't want? </p>

<p>If you look for someone that has X, Y, & Z, the list always is small. If you look for someone that isn't M, N & O (your deal breakers) the list is much bigger. The diversity can be eye-opening and fun.</p>
 
irvinesinglemom, I hope you don't mind me hijacking your thread, but I have to say that by putting your son first you have my sincere admiration, that is the way it should always be....I admire your values, you deserve to find someone who will love and cherish you and your little Boy and I'm positive you will. Hang in there, you deserve a really special Guy.
 
<p>What you're going to leave all the attached people out of this? Man do I feel out the outside now! </p>

<p>Hope things are going well</p>

<p>-bix</p>
 
what are people's thoughts on the dating market? i think there's a dating bubble that was highly correlated with the residential housing mkt. personal income and spending were inflated which caused many singles to look like much better prospects than they really were. the handsome well-dressed real estate guru that wined and dined you at flemings once a week is now an unemployed mortgage broker and taking you for unlimited soup and salad at olive garden. i am forecasting a large correction in the near future.





in all seriousness though, as much as people hate to admit it, finances are a huge part of any relationship. i have to say as much enjoyment as i get out of this blog, it will be tough to see how the fallout in residential housing may affect friends and family that i know stretched themselves too thin.
 
<p>My CC&R's are VERY restrictive and limit or eliminate any options.... </p>

<p>good luck</p>

<p>As for finances affecting a relationship, yes, I can forsee one of the couple spending like the music hasn't stopped. I can assure you that there will be a HUGE amount of homes on the market because of split couples. Its a sad testment to people not being able to control themselves or not being able to adapt to the current market. But then again, that's why I laugh at those people when they are critical of my car and my lifestyle. Saving for he future is just not an option, its a requirement. </p>

<p>Anyway good luck</p>

<p>-bix</p>
 
<p><em>i think there's a dating bubble that was highly correlated with the residential housing mkt. personal income and spending were inflated which caused many singles to look like much better prospects than they really were</em></p>

<p>It's unwinding now. Savvy and sophisticated young women at 50% DTI and facing a reset are hoping to discover their six-digit income knight on a white horse but instead find only a stream of imbecile renters with roommates. They make little effort to hide their true aspirations.</p>

<p>Red flag: "So, what is it that you do for a living" in the first thirty seconds.</p>
 
<p>Ah! the age old debate. Girls are after a moneyed man, and guys after a good looking young chick.</p>

<p>Effen: If it is that important to you to know she is not after your money, next time a girl asks you what you do for a living, tell her you are unemployed and exploring options. If upon hearing that, she wants to help you get employed, then you know her heart is in the right place. Otherwise move on.</p>

<p>I'll also bet you never made a point to talk to all the girls in the room, just the attractive ones. So don't sell yourself short. All women, old and young know good looking nubile quality women, by only limiting yourself to the ones you see, you are missing out on her friends, relatives, co-workers, etc... And nothing beats a personal introduction.</p>

<p>ISM: Admire your bravery for putting it out there. But let me take poetic license and rephrase. </p>

<p>Currently single with realistic view of marriage, look mid 30's , with one adorable, respectful, well behaved pre-schooler. Fitness driven, and enjoy outdoors. Enjoy working full time and managing investments for multi-million $ retirement at 62. More than capable of paying bills. Want to be the best Mom possible to my son, ie will eat ramen daily, so I can send him to Harvard. </p>

<p>Looking for a man around my age or up to 15 years older who shares the same value for friendship? or marriage? with more kids?</p>

<p>You get the idea!</p>

<p> </p>
 
<p>fsbo, you haven't gotten to know these girls. I seem to be a magnet for these chickies.</p>

<p>Note to self: Stop offering to help them install their ceiling fans and window treatments. </p>
 
<p>Effen:</p>

<p>Serves you right. Why buy the cow when you give away the milk for free? </p>

<p>Don't you know it is even harder to get a good handyman than a good boyfriend!</p>

<p>Handyman duties definitely fall under boyfriend/husband category. Charge them $/hour after all you are unemployed (Haha)</p>

<p>PS. May want to up the dress code, T shirt and jeans spell "can fix anything"MAN</p>
 
fsbo, that was fantastic! Thank you! I'll probably be trying out a couple of dating web sites soon and I will definitely be using your approach to wording.



FWIW Effen, I am extremely interested in what a man does for a living but not because I want him to subsidize my high-maintenance lifestyle. I am interested in being with an intellectual and social equal. I have dated too many men who got uncomfortable that I used "big" words or enjoyed NPR or understand finance and investing, etc. When a woman asks a man what he does, don't rule out the possibility that she's not measuring his wallet, but instead is assessing his brainpower, or his personality, or his character (in other words, a garbage man earns more than a high school teacher, but and sorry if this sounds snooty but there's just no way I'd date a garbage man!)
 
<p>ISM: In social situations, I do not ask people what they do. Either sex. Whether we realize it or not, we assign labels to people and apply prejudices when we learn about their jobs or careers. I do <strong>not </strong>want to harbor this bias when getting to know a person. I have the self-awareness to realize that I'm not above this, and I doubt that too many other people above it as well.</p>

<p>I just don't go there. Not until I get to know a person a little better. I don't think that career or education is anything more than a very rough proxy for intelligence. I can promise you that if I leave Irvine and go swing wrenches on an arctic oil platform, I'll still read CR every night via sat-link.</p>
 
ISM, irvinefsbo's version sounds much smoother; however, it's probaly not you. I would keep your own words because it's you. Why would you want to present yourself differently and possibly attract wrong attention? Good luck.
 
I am not single anymore (haven't been for a long time). But I think you will know when you meet the right girl/guy. I met mine when I was still in school, five years since our wedding, and loving every minute of it. I think money should be the last thing in a relationship. You can always make more money, but it will be hard to meet that special someone again
 
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