Should I get him THE bike?

NEW -> Contingent Buyer Assistance Program
<blockquote>He won?t leave me. We?ll grow old together</blockquote>


Over the past month or two, I've been kicking around financial ideas with a person who is turning to litigation to help untangle about a quarter million in assets from the person with whom she'd grow old with. I guess she was right if you regard a person smack in the middle of Generation-X as being "old".
 
As flight attendants will tell you, put your own mask on first, then put the mask on your child.



I understand wanting to give to others. I really do. My wife and I love to give each other what the other wants. However, we also don't ask for something that is not affordable. One of our gifts to each other is living debt-free. During our 14 years of marriage, we have almost never fought over money. We have a budget, and we stick to it way more often than not. When we need to replace our Lexus, we will pay cash. There is a tremendous mental freedom and lack of worry that comes from living this way.



If you have other debts, you really shouldn't buy this bike. You currently have student and car loans. You should pay those off before getting into more debt. What temp job is this that will pay so well - Pottery Barn? If the economy continues getting worse, and you lose your job, what if there is competition for those temp jobs from all the other people that lose jobs? Hope is not a plan. How will you pay for your car and your student loan? Are you going to live with your parents your whole life? Won't you one day want to live on your own? If you had no car loan and no student loan, perhaps you wouldn't have to live with your parents now.



Some women want to move straight from living with their parents to living with a new husband. If that is your plan, I encourage you to re-think that. It is good for your personal growth to live on your own for a while.



What makes you so sure this boyfriend will not leave you? Isn't that what everyone always thinks? It is all too common for women to end up dependent on men for their financial knowledge and security. Then what happens when the husband leaves his wife of 20 years, and she has to raise the kids while he is on to his second, younger wife? Seriously, think about this. I know many women who have been left in bad shape due to this. Learn to be smart with your money now. Don't wait until you are broke to figure it out.



If you will get the bike sooner or later, get it later. When you actually have the money.



Does he want you to buy it for him? Why would someone who claims to love you want you to go into more debt just to buy him a bike that he is not willing buy for himself? How about this, would he buy something like that for you?
 
[quote author="Daedalus" date=1226471762]Whenever I get that sad, longing look in my eye for something my fiancee quickly reminds me that we will both be better off saving--for a nice house, a rainy day, our retirement, whatever. And she's right. It's obvious the responders haven't convinced you that you shouldn't buy the bike. It's also obvious you haven't convined the other posters why you should. In my mind it has nothing to do with the relationship. If my crystal ball said you will indeed be with him forever that's fantastic; but that wouldn't change my opinion on this purchase. No one else is in a position to know all the particulars of your financial situation. Sounds like you have arrangements or support that provide some cushion. But if you don't have 6 month's living saved up then the next question is why not? I have yet to see proof of financial responsibility, so I assume this purchase is proof of financial recklessness. Being young is not a license to dig a hole just because you have more time to fill it. If you want to be ahead in life when you're 30 the time to start is now. Develop the habits when you're young because--believe me--the toys and desires will grow at least as fast as your income. You're considering a 10-year loan to pay for a bike...what are the odds he'll be riding it in 10 years? Be honest.

Something that works particularly well for me is to calculate how many hours it would take me to work to pay for something. Factor in taxes of course. I usually find that I don't want the item quite as much anymore after doing this calculation, and even less after I've actuallly done the work and saved up for what I thought I wanted. The peace of mind you get from money in the bank is underrated.</blockquote>


So true!!! <blockquote>Being young is not a license to dig a hole just because you have more time to fill it.</blockquote> Well said. I'll use that to remind myself when I am about to buy something. Thank you so much!!!!!!
 
Thank you all for helping me making the right decision. I have decided to wait. I'm going to save up the 6 month living expenses first. Now I need to convince him to wait too. I need to be strong for that. Thanks!
 
It sounds like you are coming around to seeing that it's not the wisest thing to do right now, however I would really like to emphasize what an EF is for. It sounds like you think it's only if you lose your job. Being young, the world is in front of you full of possibility so it's hard to imagine the things that can happen. However, young people also get sick or have accidents and can't work for a period.



Also, you said that you would like to buy a house. We are approaching a time in history that will be a fantastic opportunity to buy a home. Be ready for it with downpayment, assets and reserves and your living expenses to increase.



Lastly, I'm confused about the $7,500 tax credit/interest free loan. Did you buy a house or are you getting it because of the house your parents bought?
 
[quote author="stepping_up" date=1226476387]It sounds like you are coming around to seeing that it's not the wisest thing to do right now, however I would really like to emphasize what an EF is for. It sounds like you think it's only if you lose your job. Being young, the world is in front of you full of possibility so it's hard to imagine the things that can happen. However, young people also get sick or have accidents and can't work for a period.



Also, you said that you would like to buy a house. We are approaching a time in history that will be a fantastic opportunity to buy a home. Be ready for it with downpayment, assets and reserves and your living expenses to increase.



Lastly, I'm confused about the $7,500 tax credit/interest free loan. Did you buy a house or are you getting it because of the house your parents bought?</blockquote>


Yeah. Daedalus really put it in a way that makes me realize that I need to be more financially responsible for myself. <blockquote>Being young is not a license to dig a hole just because you have more time to fill it. </blockquote> ----- leaves me no more excuses to buy the bike.



It is hard for me to imagine all those horrible things will happen to me. It would be depressing to think that will happen to me.



My parents bought a condo and added my name on the house. So as a first time home buyer myself, I qualify for the $7,500 tax credit.
 
From my personal perspective, I think you should buy the bike. California needs all of the sales tax revenue it can get right now.
 
[quote author="ABC123" date=1226478646]From my personal perspective, I think you should buy the bike. California needs all of the sales tax revenue it can get right now.</blockquote>


and buy it costa mesa as the city budget is in shambles right now.
 
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