Bones - the private K my friend told me about is St. John in Costa Mesa. Not sure if it's affiliated with the one in RSM.
IHO - What are these donations that everyone mentions? Sounds like public schools and private schools both ask for donations, but not the Montessori schools. The Montessori that my daughter attends right now charges $1100 per month for tuition and afternoon daycare, meals NOT included. St John's tuition and afterschool care is a little less than $700 per month. Afterschool care at our public K is $725 (2014 pricing). We have to pay annual registration and other misc fees in all these different schools/afterschool care regardless where we go.
Socially, does it make a big difference if our kids don't go to the same school as the neighborhood kids? Right now the kids in our neighborhood are young and the parents/kids don't really socialize that much, probably due to the busy schedule of the dual income families. Does this change much once they grow older?