Parenting in Interracial Families

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[quote author="traceimage" date=1258713973][quote author="bkshopr" date=1258710834][quote author="traceimage" date=1258710456][quote author="irvine_home_owner" date=1258708301]This may not be PC... but I noticed something:



I see more non-asian guys celebrate diversity with asian girls, than I see asian guys celebrate diversity with non-asian girls.



Double standard!!!</blockquote>


This is true! But for the record, I'm a white girl celebrating diversity with my Asian husband. :)</blockquote>


Care to share why you married an Asian by going against the grain?</blockquote>


It's all part of my master plan to pollute the Asian gene pool and create an army of mixed-child minions who will do my evil bidding! *muahahaha*



Actually, no...we just met in college and fell in love.</blockquote>


Asian boyfriend secretly slipped a ginseng pill into your drink so you can stay alert to ace the college exam the next morning. Ancient Chinese secret not to be revealed to the westerners.
 
[quote author="Mcdonna1980" date=1258715300]I don't think our family fits in anywhere. My husband and I our Caucasian but we have Panamanian and Mexican kids. Surprisingly, the kids at school have never questioned my kids about the race differences in our family. But boy do the parents. <strong>Adults are terribly noisy. It saddens me that I have to ask other parents not to integrate my kids about being adopted</strong>.</blockquote>


So friggin' rude. I'm not looking forward to dealing with the parents of my future kids' peers.
 
[quote author="Mcdonna1980" date=1258715300]I don't think our family fits in anywhere. My husband and I our Caucasian but we have Panamanian and Mexican kids. Surprisingly, the kids at school have never questioned my kids about the race differences in our family. But boy do the parents. Adults are terribly noisy. It saddens me that I have to ask other parents not to integrate my kids about being adopted.</blockquote>


Hey, so that's how you did it! Congrats, McDonna. That's pretty cool. I admire you & your husband.
 
[quote author="Sunshine" date=1258716519][quote author="Mcdonna1980" date=1258715300]I don't think our family fits in anywhere. My husband and I our Caucasian but we have Panamanian and Mexican kids. Surprisingly, the kids at school have never questioned my kids about the race differences in our family. But boy do the parents. <strong>Adults are terribly noisy. It saddens me that I have to ask other parents not to integrate my kids about being adopted</strong>.</blockquote>


So friggin' rude. I'm not looking forward to dealing with the parents of my future kids' peers.</blockquote>


Do what I did.



"Is that your daughter?" Yes

"Is her mother of mixed race too?" Huh?

"Is her mother Mexican?" No... she's Canadian

*blank stare*



I agree with sad.mac, the best way to combat racism is to ignore race. People make blonde jokes, and certain assumptions about redheads, but other than that... no one thinks twice about differences in hair color or texture the way they do skin color and eye shape. If people quit making it a definition, people will eventually quit defining themselves and others by it.
 
I just posted and I don't know what happened but it seems to have disappeared as I tried to edit it, never happened before.

Anyway, I'll try again. Mc D, I had no idea that your kids were adopted, it's definitely news to me. My son is a part of a Kindergarten class that includes him, the only blond headed kid in the bunch (even though I am 1/2 Mexican), an Asian/Mexican girl, an African American/Caucasian girl and 22 Hispanic kids of different decent. Last year I heard a few parents talking about how they want their children to be around kids "who look like them" and one couple on our all blond headed Santa Ana Little League team actually transferred their child into another class so that they could achieve that goal (don't ask, things are weird in the Floral Park public elementary school). Like McD said, I really don't think the kids care at all, it's the parents. The only comment my son has ever made is regarding the color of his hair. He thought it was blond until he went to summer camp in Irvine with another child who would be considered a "toe head", he then decided that his hair was brown and asked me why his hair used to be blond but now it is brown. Now after a few months of school he thinks his hair is blond again. At some point, none of us will be able to tell what our ethnicity is without a laundry list of descriptions (as is already the case with me), I think that's a good thing, maybe then it won't matter to the parents either.



BTW Nude, jinx, except that I tend to be much more anecdotal.
 
I get dizzy when the mods use the forum transporter.



Sorry BK, I didn't know there already was a discussion about "white on rice" relationships... although I'm not just referring to caucasians... it seems like non-asians from all corners of the world like to celebrate that asian female diversity.



But that's okay... soon... no one will be able to tell who is what... everyone will become an FCB!
 
Mrs BK gets that funny look all the time. When people ask for her name she utters a single syllable last name and people look at her and wait for the rest of the syllables. Many years when she was shopping in an Irvine Albertson she was detained by other parents because my 6 years old daughter was sitting in the shopping cart.
 
[quote author="irvine_home_owner" date=1258719238]I get dizzy when the mods use the forum transporter.



Sorry BK, I didn't know there already was a discussion about "white on rice" relationships... although I'm not just referring to caucasians... it seems like non-asians from all corners of the world like to celebrate that asian female diversity.



But that's okay... soon... no one will be able to tell who is what... everyone will become an FCB!</blockquote>


It will actually be the other way around FCB becomes Foreign Credit buyers.
 
I have a Hispanic Special Ed student with a particularly Chinese last name, I just don't even want to ask, no Asian parent in sight. All I can think is that those are some crazy dominant Hispanic genes and really recessive Asian genes!
 
[quote author="bkshopr" date=1258719321]Mrs BK gets that funny look all the time. When people ask for her name she utters a single syllable last name and people look at her and wait for the rest of the syllables. Many years when she was shopping in an Irvine Albertson she was detained by other parents because my 6 years old daughter was sitting in the shopping cart.</blockquote>


People are always surprised by my Asian last name. If anyone remembers "Donna Chang" from Seinfeld (shortened from Changstein, so she's white, but everyone expects her to be Chinese...that's me).



Oh, and maybe someone can relate to this as well. When my husband and I are out and about with our son, people tend to stare at him, then our son, then at me, then back to our son, etc. It's usually Asians who do this, for some reason. I think it's really obvious that our son is mixed, esp if you see all of us together. So why should they stare? My husband thinks it's because people are just interested in how the genetics sorted out in our son. Maybe that's it. I don't know. I just think it's funny.
 
[quote author="traceimage" date=1258721650][quote author="bkshopr" date=1258719321]Mrs BK gets that funny look all the time. When people ask for her name she utters a single syllable last name and people look at her and wait for the rest of the syllables. Many years when she was shopping in an Irvine Albertson she was detained by other parents because my 6 years old daughter was sitting in the shopping cart.</blockquote>


People are always surprised by my Asian last name. If anyone remembers "Donna Chang" from Seinfeld (shortened from Changstein, so she's white, but everyone expects her to be Chinese...that's me).



Oh, and maybe someone can relate to this as well. When my husband and I are out and about with our son, people tend to stare at him, then our son, then at me, then back to our son, etc. It's usually Asians who do this, for some reason. I think it's really obvious that our son is mixed, esp if you see all of us together. So why should they stare? My husband thinks it's because people are just interested in how the genetics sorted out in our son. Maybe that's it. I don't know. I just think it's funny.</blockquote>
OMG! We should share note. This happen a lot to us the Asian stare. My daughter is 100% Chinese and can you imagine the really puzzling stare at us.



My daughter started eating sushi at the bar around 5 and we saw this Sushi chef on a weekly basis and he was curious for 2 years before he finally asked the question "why the daughter does not look like my wife?".



He left and started Sushi Bistro in SF. That was almost 7 years ago and my wife wrote the 1st review on every eatery website. Wow she was right 7 years later he would make the top restaurant in the Bay area by computer word of mouth. It was even featured on the I-phone commercial.
 
trace... my wife have had similar experiences with IUSD, on interviews they fully expect to an Asian interviewee, not a blond white candidate. The Asian Irvine kids really identified and open up to her, she can relate culturally, and reference Asian parental pressures... she can even reference several experiences from oversea trips to Taiwan, China & Hong Kong... My wife is the biggest egg you'll ever meet.. her family grew up in Roland Heights before the Asians came, and learned to love the change... it'll be interesting to see how our son grows up,,, certainly we have thoughts of sending him to Taiwan for summers on end... this thread reminds me of my <a href="http://www.irvinehousingblog.com/forums/viewthread/5617/">interracial marriage poll</a>...
 
[quote author="tmare" date=1258719497]I have a Hispanic Special Ed student with a particularly Chinese last name, I just don't even want to ask, no Asian parent in sight. All I can think is that those are some crazy dominant Hispanic genes and really recessive Asian genes!</blockquote>


Cuba and other parts of Latin America were popular destination for Chinese immigrants during the 30's-60's. We often wondered what was there to offered that attracted the Chinese immigrants. Life of oppression, lack of freedom, and imprisonment in their native land were enough to make Ethiopia an attractive destination. The peak of immigration was during the 40's and declined to a few by the 1960's. Chinese had to marry outside of their race in Latin America when Chinese girls were scares. The names still pass on to present time even though 4 generations have passed with only Latin racial composition.
 
[quote author="roundcorners" date=1258757708]... this thread reminds me of my <a href="http://www.irvinehousingblog.com/forums/viewthread/5617/">interracial marriage poll</a>...</blockquote>
So that's what bk was referring too... I just read it... interesting... I blame Amy Tan and her Joy Luck Club.
 
Had I been raised in Irvine I would not be who I am today. Much of the culture, diversities, interests, and observations were from living in different cities in Southern CA. The most exciting and inspiring people I met live in the most unexpected places.
 
[quote author="roundcorners" date=1258757708]trace... my wife have had similar experiences with IUSD, on interviews they fully expect to an Asian interviewee, not a blond white candidate. The Asian Irvine kids really identified and open up to her, she can relate culturally, and reference Asian parental pressures... she can even reference several experiences from oversea trips to Taiwan, China & Hong Kong... My wife is the biggest egg you'll ever meet.. her family grew up in Roland Heights before the Asians came, and learned to love the change... it'll be interesting to see how our son grows up,,, certainly we have thoughts of sending him to Taiwan for summers on end... this thread reminds me of my <a href="http://www.irvinehousingblog.com/forums/viewthread/5617/">interracial marriage poll</a>...</blockquote>


Haha, RC, I didn't know your wife is white. Cool! We should totally go on a double-date and bring the kids! Imagine the confused stares we would get... :)
 
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