Unadjusted Kids

NEW -> Contingent Buyer Assistance Program
P

penumbra

New member
As a future Irvine resident (September 2013), I've grown to see how attractive the city is to young families, and parents who want the best education for their kids.  However, my biggest concern is whether my kid (due this month) will be able to adjust to the outside world once they leave this social bubble that is Irvine.  Sure, my kids will probably do damn well with academics (like the thousands of other uber competitive asian students), but I truly worry my kid/s will be so imbalanced and so unable to cope with the real world where asians are still the minority.  Being an Asian, I just don't remember our culture emphasizing well-rounded life experiences.  My parents had a fit when I joined the track team in high school for 4 years, and it was only when I agreed to do well in school, get into good universities, yada yada, that they were okay with me spending afternoons at track practice.

I'd imagine some of you have thought about this, especially those that grew up with a majority white population.  My brother, who is 5 years my jr. went to the same high school I went to, but by the time he enrolled, the school was about 45% Asian.  It was about 10% asian when I went, and right now, the high school is majority asians.  I noticed my brother prefers to hang out with other fellow asians (he also went to UCI), and just doesn't seem to be as well adjusted, even though he was only 3 years old when he came to the States. 

Perhaps it's our differing personalities, or perhaps it's the environment (nature vs. nurture)?  What are your thoughts?
 
It's no different than anything else.  It all depends on parenting.  It's as much of a bubble as you make it to be.  There is nothing stopping your child from being exposed to the harsher realities of life through religious or non-religious volunteering.  Also being Asian, there was definitely an emphasis on academics but there is nothing to prevent you from allowing your kids to explore other fields like sports or the arts.
 
I grew up in a predominantly hispanic neighborhood. When I was in college I purposely stayed away from the Hispanic clubs because i new I needed to assimilate into the white culture because the business world that I planned to join upon graduating was white. In college I had friends of every color and learned to deal with different cultures and became a more well rounded person capable of fitting in in most environments. 

Here is my perspective. I concentrate on picking up skills that are going to make me successful and make me a lot of money and education isn't the number one skill that does that. I don't care about being te smartest person, best educated person. I think Asians make education their 1 and only priority and ignore people and leadership skills.

Hopefully you don't make your kid just excel in school thinking that being number one in his class will translate to success and money. It may, who knows. Make sure your kid has people skills can get people to like him and that he can lead them. That should lead to a happy well rounded life. You won't have to worry about your kid resenting you because u made them study all evening, doing kumon and god knows what.

Look at china. High emphasis on education. And what are they good at?  Copying things from other countries. No innovation. With their population and resources they should be the number 1 power in the world. But their lack of political savvy will always keep them behind the usa
 
Hey... some could say China is the number one power in the world... just behind the scenes.

If China decides to stop "copying"... that could send US into the dark ages. :)
 
irvinehomeowner said:
Hey... some could say China is the number one power in the world... just behind the scenes.

If China decides to stop "copying"... that could send US into the dark ages. :)
[/
irvinehomeowner said:
Hey... some could say China is the number one power in the world... just behind the scenes.

If China decides to stop "copying"... that could send US into the dark ages. :)
Click to expand...

For china, the day they are the number one power can't get here fast enough. Does china really strike u as one who would stay behind the scenes if they were number one? Doubt it
Click to expand...
 
I think China would probably be the premier superpower today if it did not have communist rulers who are bent on instilling fear and obedience in order to control the population.  It will take a few generations to purge the brainwashing and propaganda education and let more free thinkers flourish, if given the chance and freedom.
 
jayl23 said:
I think China would probably be the premier superpower today if it did not have communist rulers who are bent on instilling fear and obedience in order to control the population.  It will take a few generations to purge the brainwashing and propaganda education and let more free thinkers flourish, if given the chance and freedom.
Click to expand...

China will have a bribery issue no matter the government.  It's part of its history.
 
If you want to get ahead then don't hang around with your own people. Mexican get smarter by hanging around with Chinese learning to cheat on taxes and Chinese get smarter by hanging around Mexicans by paying absolutely no taxes.

qwerty said:
I grew up in a predominantly hispanic neighborhood. When I was in college I purposely stayed away from the Hispanic clubs because i new I needed to assimilate into the white culture because the business world that I planned to join upon graduating was white. In college I had friends of every color and learned to deal with different cultures and became a more well rounded person capable of fitting in in most environments. 

Here is my perspective. I concentrate on picking up skills that are going to make me successful and make me a lot of money and education isn't the number one skill that does that. I don't care about being te smartest person, best educated person. I think Asians make education their 1 and only priority and ignore people and leadership skills.

Hopefully you don't make your kid just excel in school thinking that being number one in his class will translate to success and money. It may, who knows. Make sure your kid has people skills can get people to like him and that he can lead them. That should lead to a happy well rounded life. You won't have to worry about your kid resenting you because u made them study all evening, doing kumon and god knows what.

Look at china. High emphasis on education. And what are they good at?  Copying things from other countries. No innovation. With their population and resources they should be the number 1 power in the world. But their lack of political savvy will always keep them behind the usa
Click to expand...
 
Heard from a professor friend at UCI that the staff there are receiving numerous phone calls from worried parents wanting to know "how my son is doing in your class".  They even ask the professors if they could recommend a tutor, etc.  Students are arriving at college with few life skills and the parents seem unable to let go and let them gain independence.
 
penumbra said:
As a future Irvine resident (September 2013), I've grown to see how attractive the city is to young families, and parents who want the best education for their kids.  However, my biggest concern is whether my kid (due this month) will be able to adjust to the outside world once they leave this social bubble that is Irvine.  Sure, my kids will probably do damn well with academics (like the thousands of other uber competitive asian students), but I truly worry my kid/s will be so imbalanced and so unable to cope with the real world where asians are still the minority.  Being an Asian, I just don't remember our culture emphasizing well-rounded life experiences.  My parents had a fit when I joined the track team in high school for 4 years, and it was only when I agreed to do well in school, get into good universities, yada yada, that they were okay with me spending afternoons at track practice.

I'd imagine some of you have thought about this, especially those that grew up with a majority white population.  My brother, who is 5 years my jr. went to the same high school I went to, but by the time he enrolled, the school was about 45% Asian.  It was about 10% asian when I went, and right now, the high school is majority asians.  I noticed my brother prefers to hang out with other fellow asians (he also went to UCI), and just doesn't seem to be as well adjusted, even though he was only 3 years old when he came to the States. 

Perhaps it's our differing personalities, or perhaps it's the environment (nature vs. nurture)?  What are your thoughts?
Click to expand...

 
I guess I'm overprotective... I wouldn't want my kids going to far away from me when they go to college.

Much harder to help them if I have to fly there to bail them out of jail. :)

 
furioussugar said:
Heard from a professor friend at UCI that the staff there are receiving numerous phone calls from worried parents wanting to know "how my son is doing in your class".  They even ask the professors if they could recommend a tutor, etc.  Students are arriving at college with few life skills and the parents seem unable to let go and let them gain independence.
Click to expand...

Haha! This reminds me of the episode of Deadliest Catch where a greenhorn showed up with a note from his mom to the captain (I believe it was Keith or Wild Bill - one of the no-nonsense captains!). It basically said: "Please treat my boy well. Be nice to him. Make sure he eats enough and doesn't get hurt. He's my baby..." I don't know which was crazier - his mom writing the note or this grown man actually agreeing to deliver it to the skipper as soon as he stepped foot on the vessel for his first day of work. o_O

I'm pretty sure my boys would die of embarrassment if I tried to pull that stunt. That's why I will quietly stalk them around the countryside myself if they move away to see to it they are alright.  :)
 
furioussugar said:
Heard from a professor friend at UCI that the staff there are receiving numerous phone calls from worried parents wanting to know "how my son is doing in your class".  They even ask the professors if they could recommend a tutor, etc.  Students are arriving at college with few life skills and the parents seem unable to let go and let them gain independence.
Click to expand...
Those kids will have trouble dealing with real life when mom and dad can't be their as their safety net.
 
This is a real story. An Irvine mother is concerned her son meeting girls at Cal Berkeley because the girls there are too independent and teach her son to rebel. She bribed her son by offering him a brand new Lexus and a down payment for an Irvine house if he attends USC for graduate school. According to her the Chinese girls at USC  are prettier and more dependent on family's wealth and less likely to take her boy away.
 
irvinehomeshopper said:
This is a real story. An Irvine mother is concerned her son meeting girls at Cal Berkeley because the girls there are too independent and teach her son to rebel. She bribed her son by offering him a brand new Lexus and a down payment for an Irvine house if he attends USC for graduate school. According to her the Chinese girls at USC  are prettier and more dependent on family's wealth and less likely to take her boy away.
Click to expand...
I would think the opposite to be true...that the Chinese girls at USC would be more "americanized" and more likely to "ruin" her son.  haha
 
USCTrojanCPA said:
irvinehomeshopper said:
This is a real story. An Irvine mother is concerned her son meeting girls at Cal Berkeley because the girls there are too independent and teach her son to rebel. She bribed her son by offering him a brand new Lexus and a down payment for an Irvine house if he attends USC for graduate school. According to her the Chinese girls at USC  are prettier and more dependent on family's wealth and less likely to take her boy away.
Click to expand...
I would think the opposite to be true...that the Chinese girls at USC would be more "americanized" and more likely to "ruin" her son.  haha
Click to expand...

Chinese girls from USC are likely to have family in SoCal. The chance of her son setting anchor in Irvine is possible. The current situation at Cal Berkeley is not good when his girlfriend is from San Ramon. This is a common worry for Irvine Chinese mothers.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top