[quote author="usctrojanman29" date=1248141640][quote author="C Delroy Spuckler" date=1248140687][quote author="usctrojanman29" date=1248126884][quote author="C Delroy Spuckler" date=1248093558][quote author="Astute Observer" date=1247805641]See <a href="http://www.ocregister.com/articles/hotel-police-jumped-2495850-irvine-hare">OCR article</a>.
Personal issue? Dow was doing alright in past few weeks....</blockquote>
A bunch of cars followed the abulance to the hospital. I was expecting it was lawyers, but when they got to the emergency room a bunch of people asked at the front desk which tract he lived in, so they could go prepare an offer to buy his house.
Delroy</blockquote>
Brutal!</blockquote>
So, you are telling me realtors don't go through the obituaries and divorce/separation filings to find prospective clients?
<IMG SRC="http://latestfilings.com/images/smileys/axemurder.gif">
Delroy</blockquote>
Great smilie. Maybe there are some realtors that ask like ambulance chasing lawyers, but I'm just too damn lazy to go through the obituaries and divorce filings.
Haven't you heard...I'm the laziest, most ambitious and driven slacker you'll ever meet. :cheese:</blockquote>
Then you go the other route... lawyers team up with chiropractors... realtors should bribe admissions staff at the local trauma center. Hell, go one step further and run your own "suicide hotline":
Jumper/Client: 1-800-NAR-JUMP
Operator: "National Association of Realtors, Suicide hotline, what city do you live in?"
Client: "Irvine."
Operator: "Do you current own or rent?"
Client: "Own"
Operator: "Thank you. Let me forward you to an agent who can be of service"
Trojan: "Yes, how may I help you?"
Client: "I'm depressed. Life isn't worth living anymore. My wife just walked out on me."
Trojan: "Did you sign a prenup?"
Client: "Yes."
Trojan: "What tract do you live in?"
Client: "Quail Hill, why does that matter?"
Trojan: "OK. So the home is 100% yours, any loan on that?"
Client: "Ya, I still owe about $200k... financial problems aren't bothering me..."
Trojan: "Excellent... how big is your house...?"
Client: "...its my wife. I found her cheating with our pool boy"
Trojan: "$o your house has a pool... is it in good shape, do you have a hot tub as well?"
Client: "Ya, the guy was good, I guess a little too good... No, we don't have a hot tub... Anyways, my wife... I came home one day and caught her in the cabana with him..."
Trojan: "Cabana, excellent. I can work with that. Do you have a cleaning lady who comes by regularly?"
Client: "Yes... we've had her since we moved here. Are you suggesting I have an affair with her to get even with my wife... I'm not sure that's something I'm willing to do..."
Trojan: "Is she any good?"
Client: "Well... she's a bit young... probably in her early 20's and I'm in my 50's, I think she's got a boyfriend. I'm not sure she would be interested... but to answer your question, ya i guess she's cute."
Trojan: "No, I mean, is she doing a good job keeping your house in good condition?"
Client: "Oh... sorry... I... well... I misunderstood. Ha ha... I thought you were suggesting I do something improper with her. Yes, our house is in good shape. She's excellent."
Trojan: "Can I get her number?"
Client: "Sure... I think she's looking for more work, my neighbor just got their house foreclosed on and she was doing them every other Wednesday"
Trojan: "I don't need a cleaning lady... you said she was in her 20's and cute... anyways, never mind that... so where are you right now?"
Client: "I'm at my house... (address removed)"
Trojan: Great, don't do anything stupid until I get there so we can sign a contract and get you listed. I'll be right there.
Client: I appreciate your help, hopefully you can talk me through this, I'm a bit confused. My life has been so difficult the past few weeks.
Trojan: I've got 20 years experience in your area, and specialized in potentially as I call them "depressed and destressed" clients. I can walk you through everything and we can get it all taken care of, and then you can focus on dealing with your depression as you best see fit. I know a good dermatologist who can prescribe you some medicine.
Client: Huh?
Trojan: see you in a few, I'll be in a silver mercedes with a big of a dashingly handsome man on the side of it.
** Click **
