Guilty Until Proven Innocent

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effenheimer_IHB

effenheimer_IHB

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<p><em>In Cochranville, Pa., Ray Simpson, a bus driver, says that he used to have 30 kids stop at his house on Halloween. But after his divorce, with people knowing he was a man living alone, he had zero visitors. "I felt like crying at the end of the evening," he says.</em></p>

<p>I read <a target="_blank" href="http://online.wsj.com/article_email/SB118903209653018615-lMyQjAxMDE3ODA5NjAwMzYyWj.html">this article</a> this morning and it broke my heart. We talk about schools and neighborhood safety on a regular basis -- I'd like to hear IHB'ers thoughts on this topic.</p>

<p>I have to admit that I agree with the men in this article and I conduct myself accordingly. As an unmarried and unchilded male, my prosecution would be <em>fiat accompli</em> if accusations were to fly. It's sad that society has created this mess.</p>
 
<p>I don't have any children, myself ... but I do have a much younger sister that I did help to raise. And, I just think that no matter how much you try to protect them against drugs, bullies and predators, you can never be around your children 100% of the time. Thus, instead of blindly accusing people, I think that parents should communicate with, thereby educating, their children about situations that they may encounter. After doing so, you just have to trust your children. </p>
 
I agree. World-proof the child, don't child-proof the world. The former requires parents to understand that the word "parent" is also a verb.
 
<p>It's very sad when accusations get tossed around blindly. They can ruin people's lives.</p>

<p>I was told of a pediatric dentist who lost her practice and career because of an unsupported accusation. Yet, since you're "guilty until proven innocent," by the time she was proven innocent, the damage was already done. Living in a small town, she went from being a trusted, stellar member of her community to a harsh and cruel child molestor and abuser overnight. </p>
 
<p>The <a target="_blank" href="http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=3052943">Fark comments</a> put a knot in my stomach.</p>

<p><em>I can vouch for this. I'm a middle-class, average father of two who took a year off work unpaid after my wife used up her 14 months of maternity leave to be with my daughter. You have never gotten a cold shoulder like a man showing up to a parents-and-tots event at the library or wherever with a young girl – the other mothers literally stop speaking when you walk into the room and stare daggers at you at you the whole time you're there. It's like they think you showed up to recruit another prisoner into whatever unholy harem you're assembling.





It's still there – my girls are five and three and we live in a good neighbourhood but I don't ever even think about pushing another kid on the swing if they happen to be on the one next to my daughter and their parent is on the other side of the playground, and if a kid falls off the play structure, I don't go immediately over to help - even if it's a kid I know.





Hell it happened as recently as last night – I was playing with my girls on the play structure, stupid stuff parents do like 'tickle monster', but when a couple other kids showed up unsupervised and there wasn't another adult around, I went off and sat on a picnic bench.





Sad is right.</em></p>

<p>And...</p>

<p><em>As an adult male, I avoid other people's kids and don't help kids I don't know.





I drove past a kid about five years old wandering around in the driveway in front of a school, on a weekday with no one around. Thought "that didn't look right", so I stopped and asked him if he was okay. He said he didn't know. I asked him if he was lost. He said no, his mom was going to pick him up, but she was not there and he was scared. I told him that he should go into his school and find an adult so that someone knows where he is. There was no way I was getting out to help him, and I thought how creepy it must look that there is a guy in a truck with his window rolled down asking a kid if anyone knows where he is. I waited until he went into the school before leaving.





Same thing on the playground. If my son is playing with another kid and that kid falls and skins a knee, I don't do anything. I just stand there and look for his mom. I will say something like "you'll be ok", but I won't help him up and I sure as hell won't pick him up or hug him or pat his head. <strong>I know it's sad, but other people's kids are like plutonium to me.</strong></em></p>

<p>My own personal experience: I flatly refused to participate in a <a target="_blank" href="http://www.sbnfa.org/youth.php">volunteer opportunity</a> because of this.</p>
 
When I was a little kid, I was, frankly, a total nerd. I followed EVERY rule, all the time. Too scared to do otherwise. However, lots of other kids in my classes broke rules regularly, and what ended up happening was that the teachers would make even MORE rules, and make them even more restrictive. (The same thing happened to me at home with me and my rule-breaking sister). So in the end, my little world of rules and regulations became stricter and stricter, while most of the other kids weren't even fazed and continued doing whatever the hell they wanted to do. Morale of my story is - life ain't fair, no matter what gender you are.
 
<p>Life <em>isn't </em>fair.</p>

<p>Yet, you shouldn't have to live in fear like during the Salem witch trials (where all it takes is simple, even if unsupported, accusation and you're screwed)!</p>

<p>It's pretty sad that fear will stop someone from being a good samaritan. (I just really like the crying face thingy)</p>
 
<p>IR, it might not be that easy. I've read stories of the falsely-accused going from productive and upstanding citizens to worthless parasites because they've exhausted their life savings defending themselves, lost their jobs, and now cannot find work anywhere. It only takes one poorly conducted interview from one asshat CPS worker to set the chain in motion. </p>
 
<p>Also ... people like drama, and the media feeds on this.</p>

<p>For the example of the dentist I gave above who was wrongfully accused .... when she was accused, it was front-page, bold letters news.</p>

<p>Yet, when she was found innocent of her accusations, it was on some random page, tucked away in the newspaper.</p>
 
i know we have some lawyers reading this site, so...





a government website shows that my sister who lives in denver has a convicted sex offender on her street. when i told her, her response was, "OMG, my child and i walk to school with her (yes - it's a she) child and her 3 times a week!"





i've been trying to find out via the web for what this person's conviction was, with little success. any idea how i can go about this?





thanks
 
<p>It appears that due to a court ruling, Colorado limits certain information from being disseminated to the public. Please contact the local police jurisdiction where your sister lives, and ask to be redirected to their juvenile division. They will most likely have the answers to your questions. </p>

<p>If you do a google search for "Megan's Law" and Colorado you can read some excerpts. <a href="http://www.meganslaw.com">www.meganslaw.com</a> is not what I thought it was, it is a pay site...do not use it, the information is free elsewhere.</p>
 
<p>almon -</p>

<p>try <a href="http://www.nsopr.gov/">this</a>. it might not give you much...but it is free, and it does categorize the assaults into "violent, multiple, felony" and does say whether it was on a boy or girl, etc.</p>
 
thanks Laing_Lies...unfortunately for colorado it says less than that...must be due to the state limit that Trooper found...
 
<p>Try Looking at the number and percentage of kids say 2yrs to 13yrs who die from Molesters & Guns vs. Drownings & Car accidents.</p>

<p>People are affraid of the wrong things. The media over reports. missing kids, etc. sensationalism. </p>
 
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